Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge
by Dandalion
Summary: Thirteen Klaine stories, unrelated, each based off of a song from The Pierces' album Thirteen Tales of Love and Revenge. Summaries, ratings and warnings for each story is included in its chapter. I suggest listening to the song before reading each chapter. A link will be provided, just put the url for youtube in front of it. Reviews make me happy )
1. Secret

Secret

Summary:

Look into my eyes

Now you're getting sleepy

Are you hypnotized by secrets that you're keeping?

Rating: R (for violence)

Warnings: Violence, offensive language

Song: /watch?v=5sgu5yZ6xTQ&feature=relmfu

* * *

Got a secret, can you keep it?

Swear this one you'll save

Better lock it in your pocket

Taking this one to the grave

If I show you then I know you

Won't tell what I said...

* * *

Kurt lies in bed, staring at the ceiling. It's almost three in the morning, but he can't get himself to fall asleep. Not after what happened tonight.

He knows how awful it feels to be made fun of for who he is; he's definitely been through it enough. He had thought Blaine was used to it too. But after tonight, Kurt doesn't think he understands Blaine's feelings about it as well as he thought he did.

Blaine had just gotten so _angry_. Kurt has never seen him like that, face reddening and spit flying as he yelled at the man who had called them "faggots" while they were walking back to Kurt's car after a date. Kurt had tried to calm him down, and it seemed to work, but Kurt's still worried. He's never seen anyone react so…violently.

He closes his eyes and convinces himself it was nothing. Blaine will be fine. They'll both be fine. He slowly drifts off to sleep.

About an hour later, Kurt wakes up with a start. Something is wrong, he can feel it. It's Blaine…something is wrong with Blaine. He looks frantically for his phone, and upon locating it, he hits speed dial 2. It rings and rings, but Blaine never answers. _Shit_, Kurt thinks. _What is going on?_.

Kurt needs to go find him. Blaine could be in trouble; he could be seriously hurt. What if he went looking for that guy? What if something happened?

_No, don't think like that. Now is not the time. Just go find him_, Kurt thinks. He pulls on some jeans and the nearest shirt, grabs his keys, and sneaks quietly down the stairs. No one is awake, and he intends to keep it that way until he sneaks back in the morning. There's no way he's leaving Blaine tonight once he finds him, even if nothing is wrong.

Kurt makes his way to the car, wishing he had brought a sweater or something. The night chill gives him an even worse sense of unease, and he gets into the driver's seat quickly, turning the key in the ignition and blasting the heat. He doesn't turn on the radio; now is not the time for music.

He drives as fast as he's willing in the direction of Blaine's house. The fact that it's an hour and a half away doesn't comfort Kurt, but he thinks it's better to get there later than not at all. He just can't help but feel that something terrible is happening.

As he gets closer to Blaine's neighborhood, he starts looking around for anything suspicious. Unfortunately, he finds what he's looking for. Blaine's car is parked in the lot of what looks like an abandoned playground, the jungle gym rusty and falling apart.

_What on earth is Blaine doing here?_ Kurt wonders nervously. He tries calling Blaine again, but when he still gets no answer, he braces himself, and gets out of the car. He makes sure to lock his doors, and carefully walks towards the playground.

_Get a grip, Kurt_, he thinks to himself. _This might be creepy as fuck, but Blaine is here and he might be in trouble and you need to help him_. It's these thoughts that get Kurt from his car to the swing set. He looks around, hoping to easily spot Blaine, get him the hell out of there, and question his boyfriend on what the fuck is going on with him.

Suddenly, Kurt hears noises and voices to his right. He turns around and ducks down so as not to be seen. Slowly, he creeps closer to the sounds, and two bodies come into vision. One of the people (_both men_, Kurt thinks) is on his knees, with his hands tied behind his back. The other man is standing over him; well, more like looming over him, a hand gripping the kneeling man's chin harshly. As Kurt gets closer, he sees that the standing man looks very familiar…he has gelled hair, a perfect square jaw, a ring on the hand around the other man's chin that Kurt got him for his birthday.

_Wait, what?_ Kurt thought. And then in dawns on him. Blaine's not the one being attacked…he's the one doing the _attacking_!

Kurt watches in horror as Blaine lets go of the man's chin and slaps him harshly, twice on each cheek. The other man looks dazed, like he'd been drugged. Kurt can't believe what he's seeing. He creeps closer, hoping to catch what Blaine is saying. He manages to find a spot near the slide where he's close enough to hear, yet still hidden.

"You wanna call me a faggot, asshole? Well, how do you like this faggot now? I've got _you_ on your knees, in perfect cock sucking position. Do you want it? I bet you do," Blaine spits out at the man. Kurt can see tears leaking out of his eyes as Blaine hits him again and again, always with his open hand. Kurt can almost feel the sting himself.

"But I'm not going to do that. No, I'm not going to make you suck my dick, because that's exactly what you expect. All us _faggots_ are just looking to get off, right? All we want is a nice mouth to fuck, or a tight ass to pound. We're all just the shit on the bottom of your shoes. Well, who's the shit now, fucker?" Blaine's fist finally collides with the man's face, and Kurt flinches, waiting for the cry of pain. When it doesn't come, he looks back, and notices in shock that Blaine has another rope around the man's neck, restricting his airflow.

Kurt can't tear his eyes away as Blaine wraps his hand around the man's neck, forcing even more breath out of him until the man looks faint enough to pass out. Then Blaine lets go, and the man is gasping, and Kurt thinks it's the worst sound he's ever heard in his life.

"You're going to be sorry you ever called me a faggot," Blaine says between gritted teeth, so low that Kurt almost misses it. Blaine reaches into his pocket to pull something out. Kurt has to bite his hand to keep from gasping when Blaine reveals a knife in his hand and puts it up against the man's face.

The man's eyes widen in their haze as he seems to realize just what's happening to him. He tries to jerk away from the knife, but Blaine's got his hand around his neck again, and he isn't going anywhere.

"One," Blaine says as he slashes the man across the cheek. "For calling my boyfriend a faggot."

"Two," he says as he splits the man's bottom lip open. "For calling me a faggot."

"And three," Blaine whispers as he removes his hand from the man's neck and slices straight across his throat. "For thinking you could ever get away with it."

Kurt is crying at this point as he watches the man bleed, the life slowly fading from his eyes. He makes himself look away, and can't bring himself to glance back even once as he flees from the scene, making it back into his car and sobbing as he clutches the wheel.

_Get a grip, Kurt. Get it together and get the fuck out of here before Blaine sees you._ Kurt doesn't let himself think about what might happen if Blaine sees that he was there.

When he finally gets home after having to stop several times to cry more, he runs to his room, hoping he didn't wake anyone up. He throws himself onto his bed and sobs into his pillow for what seems like hours. When he finally gets himself to calm down, he sees that it's close to 7 AM. He decides he can't sleep anymore and just lies in bed until his alarm goes off.

In the time between, he battles with himself about whether or not he should talk to Blaine. He's already decided to call the police; the question was whether or not to give Blaine a chance to say something. Not that anything he says will change Kurt's mind.

But he has to at least try. He needs to know why Blaine would do this, why he would risk everything, how he could actually _kill_ someone. It's so inconceivable a concept to Kurt. Committing _murder_ seems so extreme.

He gets dressed quickly and rushes to beat Blaine to the Lima Bean for their before class coffee. He wants to be waiting for him. He orders both their coffees and sits at their table, constantly glancing at the door until Blaine finally appears. Kurt tries not to flip out at the sight of him. His boyfriend. His _murderer_ boyfriend.

Blaine sees Kurt and smiles, as if nothing is wrong. Kurt thinks. _You _killed_ someone last night._

Kurt smiles back at Blaine, but can tell that his boyfriend sees that it's not genuine. Blaine takes on a worried expression as he sits down and reaches for his coffee.

"Is everything alright, babe? You look kind of…tense," Blaine says, looking at Kurt quizzically.

"Blaine…" Kurt says hesitantly, wondering how he should approach this. "I saw you last night." Okay, apparently he's just jumping head first into the lion's den on this one.

Blaine purses his lips for a moment before speaking.

"Saw me where, Kurt?" he asks curiously.

"Saw you where? At the park, Blaine! With that—that man, the one who insulted us the other night!" Kurt whispers furiously, leaning in so that no one else can hear him. "You…you _killed_ him."

Blaine narrows his eyes, still looking vaguely confused. The corners of his mouth tug down ever so slightly before he opens his mouth again.

"Kurt, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I think you should come with me. If this is something you're serious about, we shouldn't talk in public like this."

Kurt stares wide-eyed as Blaine stands up and reaches to take his hand. Kurt tries to tug it away but Blaine manages to get a hold of it before he can. Not wanting to make a scene, Kurt follows obediently after Blaine as they make their way to Blaine's car. Kurt figures it won't hurt to talk in a more private setting, even though this whole situation is setting his teeth on edge. He knows what he saw. His boyfriend murdered someone last night, and there's no way he's going to convince him otherwise.

It strikes Kurt as odd that Blaine locks the doors once they're both seated in the car, and then it hits him. How could he have been so _stupid_? He just got into a car _willingly_ with a murderer!

Blaine slowly turns his back to Kurt to reach for his seatbelt, and once he clicks it into place, he holds his hand up for Kurt to see, revealing a knife. The same knife Kurt had seen last night.

Kurt feels his face pale and his eyes widen, and he scrambles to get out of the car, only to find that the child lock is on.

"You're not going anywhere, baby. We need to talk about this," Blaine says, twirling the knife between his fingers. "Now, I'm not going to hurt you; I could never hurt you, but I need you to cooperate, okay, Kurt? I love you, and if you love me, this can all be very painless and easy. Do you think you could do that for me, Kurt?"

Kurt is shaking at this point, trying desperately not to cry. He thinks that if he screams loud enough, someone in the coffee shop might hear him, but there's not too great a chance; they always get there early so as to avoid the rush, so there's barely anyone around. Besides, Blaine has a _knife_. Who knows what he might do if Kurt screams?

Kurt slowly turns his face to Blaine to see his boyfriend staring lovingly back. Blaine's smile sends terror shivering down Kurt's spine.

"Wh—" Kurt starts, then clears his dry throat. "Where are you going to take me?" Blaine looks deeply into Kurt's eyes, and it feels as if he's probing into Kurt's soul. It's the most unsettling thing Kurt has ever experienced.

"We're just going to go for a quick drive," Blaine says with a smile as he faces forward and puts the key in the ignition. He starts the car and pulls away, taking a turn on the main road away from the town, away from the school, away from anywhere Kurt ever considered safe.

"Please stop worrying, baby," Blaine says. "I meant it when I said I wouldn't hurt you. But you have to understand…no one can find out about this. Can I trust you not to tell anyone?"

"Actually, I had every intention of informing the police about last night. That is, until you kidnapped me," Kurt gets out. He realizes he still has his phone and wonders if Blaine would notice him using it. It seems pretty unlikely that he would miss it, but it's all Kurt has…

"Kurt, give me your cell phone," Blaine says, as if reading Kurt's mind. "Don't make this harder than it already is, baby."

Kurt hands over his phone with a sense of resignation. There goes his absolute last bit of hope of getting out of this. He leans his head against the window and starts to cry softly. Blaine ignores him.

After about an hour of driving, Blaine pulls off to the right, and parks on an abandoned dirt road. He cuts the ignition and reaches over Kurt to find something in the glove compartment. No matter how hard he tries to shrink in on himself, Kurt can't seem to avoid some contact with Blaine's body as it stretches over. Blaine finds what he's looking for and settles it in his lap after closing the glove box.

"Now, Kurt," he says with a sad smile. "Please don't be mad at me. But I have to do this. I can't have anyone finding out about what you saw, and if that means that I have to let you go…well, just know that I'll always regret it, and I'll always love you. I'm truly sorry that this might be how it has to end. If you were willing to promise never to tell anyone, things might be different, but I think we both know that won't happen. So please, just hold still for me. I told you twice before, and I'll tell you again: I'm not going to hurt you. I'm sorry, Kurt. I'll miss you."

As Blaine delivers his little speech, he prepares a syringe with some clear liquid. Kurt has no idea what it might be, but judging by the goodbye Blaine is giving him, he assumes it's not going to be pretty. He tries forcing the door open, but when that doesn't work, he lunges for the back seat, anything to get as far away from Blaine as possibly, but Blaine is too quick for him. He catches Kurt around the waist and pulls him against his chest, holding down his arms and settling the needle against the inside of Kurt's elbow as the taller boy's body wracks with sobs. He eases it under Kurt's skin and makes quick work of pushing the liquid out, and Kurt instantly feels a calm settle over him.

Blaine moves him back over to the passenger seat, and Kurt feels a kiss press against his mouth. His vision starts to blur, but before everything goes black, he feels the car pulling away again, and the last thing he sees is a sign that says "Thank you for visiting Ohio. Come again soon!"

* * *

'Cause two can keep a secret

If one of them is dead


	2. Boring

Boring

Summary:

Life is such a chore

When it's boring

Rating: M

Warnings: none

Song: /watch?v=u_rhDYRrMXg

* * *

"Yes, Blaine, right _there_, oh, oh, more, please."

Blaine has Kurt up against the wall, fingers digging deep into his hips, mouth sucking and nipping harshly at his Adam's apple (no doubt leaving the biggest, darkest hickey _ever_), a thigh shoved between Kurt's legs, pressing _just_ too much against his hard cock.

Kurt opens his eyes when he hears a low whistle off to the side, and finds a buff guy staring at him as he fucks some bent over twink. The man's eyes travel all along Kurt's body, and when they find Kurt's gaze again, he winks—a promise that he's imagining the boy he's fucking is Kurt.

Kurt shuts his eyes again and tilts his head back further, concentrating on Blaine's mouth on his skin, the soft feeling of Blaine's breath puffing against him combined with the sharp nips from his teeth, and it feels better than ever, most likely due to the fact that they're in the backroom of a New York City club. He still can't believe they're actually doing this.

It had been Blaine's idea, of course. Once Kurt stopped initiating all of their sexual endeavors, it forced Blaine to open up about what he wanted to try. And it turned out Blaine wanted to try nearly _everything_.

They were careful about it—Blaine would tell Kurt an idea, and sometimes Kurt would reject it right away. But if there was even the _slightest_ spark of curiosity in his eyes, Blaine would convince him to at least give it a chance.

They'd been in somewhat of rut. Blaine's suggestions started repeating themselves, and Kurt became a little tired of their usual bedroom activities. Not to say that they weren't still having fantastic sex, but they were having trouble keeping it interesting.

Until Blaine came up with the one thing they hadn't really tried yet.

This time, Kurt hadn't needed much persuading. All Blaine had to say was "exhibitionism", and Kurt was nodding frantically and grabbing Blaine's face to pull him into a messy, passionate kiss.

So here they are. Blaine chose the club, and told Kurt to meet him there. The second Kurt got there, Blaine waved him over to the bar, and they both did several shots before moving to the dance floor, grinding heavily against one another, Kurt's back to Blaine's front, one arm gripping the back of Blaine's neck, causing his shirt to ride up…they were already too drunk to notice, but they were catching the attention of pretty much everyone.

It hadn't taken long for Blaine to drag Kurt to the backroom, especially after another round of shots.

Blaine puts even more pressure on Kurt's cock with his thigh, causing Kurt to grit his teeth as the pleasure becomes painful. He opens his eyes again, only to see the buff guy still staring at him, along with five or six other men, surrounding Kurt and Blaine, some of them jacking off, all of them clearly enjoying the show.

"God, Blaine, look at them. They _love_ it. They love _you_," Kurt groans, panting heavily. He then starts whining when Blaine removes his mouth from Kurt's neck and stares him in the face, looking incredulous.

"Me? Oh, baby…you've got it _all_ wrong," he says, and then proceeds to suck Kurt's earlobe into his mouth, slurping around it obscenely and coaxing loud moans and gasps out of the taller man. "Sure, these guys find me sexy enough, but trust me when I say it's _you_ that they love. They can't wait to see the rest of you," Blaine mutters into Kurt's ear, his hot breath tickling it, as he reaches between them to start flicking the buttons open on Kurt's shirt, Kurt moaning as Blaine's fingers barely trace his chest.

"They love your skin; they all wish I was gone so they could touch it instead. They love your _lips_; all wishing they were the ones who had made them so shiny and red from kissing. They love your neck; so long, so many potential hickeys to suck, and _I'm_ the lucky bastard who gets to put them there."

Blaine has finally finished unbuttoning Kurt's shirt, and moves on to his fly, working the button open and sliding the zipper down, looking around to see that even more men have come around to watch them, every single one of them now touching themselves.

Kurt gasps as he realizes it too, his gasp turning into a low groan when Blaine pushes his pants down, sighing as Kurt's cock springs free, and resisting the urge to laugh when more than half the guys around them moan at the fact that Kurt hadn't been wearing any underwear.

Blaine kneels in front of Kurt, taking his cock in his hand, and looks up at him.

"Every single one of these guys wishes they were me…they all wish they were about to suck your cock and make you scream. But they're _not_. It's me…it's only me."

"Only you, Blaine, yes, only—YOU!" Kurt shouts out the end of his sentence due to Blaine sinking his mouth down as far as he can go onto Kurt's dick, massaging his balls in the hand that isn't meeting his lips on every stroke. "Oh, oh, baby, s-so, so goooood, _Blaine_, don't stop, never stop, ahhh!" Kurt babbles on, his words slurring and his head shaking back and forth as his breathing speeds up, his chest heaving with the effort. Both of his hands have moved of their own accord, gripping the back of Blaine's neck and tugging lightly on the curls that hang loose.

Blaine drops his hand from Kurt's balls to unzip his own jeans and push them down a little, quickly moving to jerk himself off as he redoubles his efforts to make Kurt come as quickly as possible, determined to get them back to their apartment right after this to fuck, just the two of them.

Blaine glances around, and sees the crowd of probably 15 or 20 men around them, all watching him suck off his boyfriend, all stroking their own hard cocks, almost all of their eyes on Kurt.

And who is Blaine to blame them? Kurt is _gorgeous_, thrashing his head, his cheeks tinted red and his lips still puffy, the hickey dark on his neck, an extreme contrast to his beautiful, pale skin, his nipples hard and on display, his back arched off the wall as he pumps his smooth hips into Blaine's mouth, his whole body shaking as he gasps for air, his long legs trembling beneath him. Any man would be_insane_ not to want him.

He increases his suction and takes his other hand off of Kurt's dick to play with his balls again, and he starts humming a song around Kurt, only loud enough for the two of them to hear, and he knows Kurt will chastise him later for being so cheesy, but he can't help himself.

Kurt's coming by the end of the first chorus of "Teenage Dream", thick and hot down Blaine's throat, cutting off Blaine's humming and causing him to groan, Kurt's hands holding him in place until he's done, slumping back against the wall and shuddering as Blaine kitten licks the head of his cock to clean him up a bit.

Blaine looks around at the group of men watching them, many of them having come with Kurt, and the rest seeming to be waiting for Blaine. With that, Blaine looks back to his debauched boyfriend, and strokes one, two, three mores times before grunting out his orgasm all over his hand and the floor, his forehead falling forward onto Kurt's thigh, his puffs of breath ghosting over Kurt's sweaty, oversensitive skin.

All in all, Blaine thinks this has been one of their most successful experiments.


	3. Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones

Summary:

Hey, lover boy

Oh, now do you believe me?

That's not all that I can do

Sit back down,

I'm afraid we won't be leaving

Can't undo my spell on you

Rating: M

Warnings: **_***SERIOUS DUBCON***_**

Literally as close to non-con as possible without actually being non-con...at least I don't think. Someone please let me know if this should be considered non-con and I will immediately add a non-con warning to this story.

Song: /watch?v=YAQY_x_GByw&feature=relmfu

* * *

Five months. For five months, Blaine has watched as Kurt flirted with boys, made his way through three boyfriends and countless hook ups, all the while remaining _best_ friends with Blaine.

Blaine, for his part, has managed to find some hook ups of his own…not that they ever amount to much, considering how hung up he is—has _always_ been—on Kurt.

Unfortunately, Kurt doesn't know. And never _will_ know, because Blaine is completely aware of the fact that Kurt doesn't like him like that. He would rather be his best friend and have Kurt still feel comfortable around him rather than risk it all just to share his feelings.

But it's been _five months_, and Blaine is frustrated. He's been head over heels for Kurt since they first met at orientation, tentatively deciding to be roommates. When they realized how well they fit together after moving in, their dorm room became a center for late night chats, movie and pizza nights, and giggling gossip sessions.

Kurt has never shown interest in Blaine romantically, and is under the impression that, while they're both gay, that doesn't mean they're automatically attracted to each other. So just like Kurt isn't attracted to Blaine, Blaine must not be attracted to Kurt.

Blaine never had the heart to set him straight.

The idea comes to him after watching a documentary on hypnosis and how it could literally change people's mindsets and behaviors. He does some research, finding out that not only can hypnosis be used for sexual reasons, but there's actually a _name_ for it and it's practiced by many.

_Erotic hypnosis_. Blaine says it out loud a few times to get used to it. It sounds beautiful and exciting, sending thrills straight through his body and right to his cock.

As he reads the testimonials and understands more and more about how to perform the actual hypnosis, he forms an image in his head of Kurt, pliant and willing, reacting to his every command and touch.

He wants to, so badly. But all of the websites say that hypnosis can only work if the person going under is willing, and Blaine knows Kurt will most definitely not be willing to allow him to perform erotic hypnosis. However, he might be willing if he doesn't know it's _sexual_…

Blaine tells himself that his plan isn't taking advantage of Kurt; it's just allowing him to…persuade Kurt into the right mindset for them to finally be _more_than just best friends. He'll tell Kurt about the hypnosis, saying he's done a lot of research and it relieves a lot of stress—which is true—and he'll say that he wants to help Kurt relax. Kurt _has_ been under a lot of pressure lately, due to several of his classes taking cumulative exams, his show coming up in a few weeks, and two papers due for his least favorite writing course.

He'll go for it. Blaine just knows it.

The opportunity comes sooner than Blaine expected, but he doesn't mind. He's been studying and practicing for over two weeks. He knows he can pull this off.

Kurt is lying face down on his bed, groaning as she stretches his arms above his head and wiggles his bare feet into the sheets.

"It should be illegal to make someone sit for a five hour exam," he mumbles into his pillow. "Seriously, we had _two_ breaks. Only two! And they were like, five minutes long; I barely had time to pee."

Blaine hums sympathetically, mentally prepping his sales pitch.

"It's crazy how stressed you've been. No one should be under that much pressure," Blaine muses, dropping down on the foot of Kurt's bed. "I mean, a five hour exam the week before your show? What, are they trying to break you in two?"

Kurt giggles before flipping over onto his back. Blaine takes the chance to place his hand on Kurt's leg, reveling in the muscles he can feel.

"You're a really great friend, you know that? You always know what to say." Kurt smiles up at him, his eyes soft before they slip closed.

Blaine rolls his eyes now that Kurt wasn't looking at him. Always the "great friend". It's time to be _more_.

"Hey, Kurt?"

"Mmmm?"

"Since you've been so crazed lately, I was wondering if…well there's something I've sort of been…reading up on that might help you relax. If you want to try it?"

Kurt eases on eye open curiously.

"What is it?" he asks, opening the other eye and slowly sitting up. This causes Blaine's hand to slip from his leg, but Blaine hardly notices the loss, too excited about the prospect of what's about to happen.

"Hypnosis," he breathes out, hoping he doesn't sound to eager. He doubts Kurt would pick up on it anyway.

Blaine expects skepticism at best, and Kurt laughing in his face at worst. But what he gets instead is a—_thrilling sexy fantastic_—surprise.

Kurt's face clouds over with a mixture of intrigue and thoughtfulness. His eyes flick to Blaine, who has to cross his legs to hide his half-hard erection.

"Like…dangle a necklace in front of my face and swing it back and forth while saying 'you're getting sleeeeepy'?" Kurt's voice doesn't seem mocking. He seems so genuine it makes Blaine's head spin with the possibilities. He keeps up appearances by chuckling, scooting more on the bed so that he's directly across from Kurt.

"No, it's actually a lot more than that. Hypnosis has actually been proven to change behavior…people have used it to quit smoking, to manage their anger…lots of things. Stress relief is definitely one of its main functions though. Kind of like yoga." Blaine tries not to fidget under Kurt's stare.

"Okay," Kurt states simply after a short silence. Blaine lets out a laugh unintentionally, but Kurt just continues to look at him calmly.

"S-seriously?" Blaine stutters out, before clearing his throat. He can't break now, not when he's _so close_. "I mean, you really want to try it?"

"Sure, why not? It seems interesting, and worst-case scenario, it doesn't work and I remain wound up. But it's worth a shot, right?" Blaine nods enthusiastically, opening his mouth to speak, but Kurt isn't quite finished. "Besides, it seems like you've done your research. I trust you." He gives Blaine a huge grin and takes his hand.

_I trust you_. of all things, that's what solidifies this for Blaine. Kurt may not know _exactly_ what Blaine plans to use the hypnosis for, but he _trusts_ Blaine to lead him. Blaine has to take a moment to compose himself before speaking.

"That's…thank you, Kurt. I promise to really try and help you." He hopes Kurt hears the sincerity in his voice. He's going to make Kurt feel _so much_, and Blaine needs him to understand how much it means that Kurt is giving him that power.

"Of course, silly," Kurt says playfully. "You're my best friend. So, what do I need to do for this?" Kurt drops Blaine's hand and looks at him expectantly.

"Um…okay, why don't you lie down on your bed? On your back," Blaine directs, moving off of Kurt's bed to sit across from it on his own.

Kurt settles into his bed, stretching his legs out and placing his arms by his sides. He doesn't say anything, just looks at Blaine for the next instruction. Blaine can't help but feel a slight thrill at Kurt's easy obedience.

"Alright, close your eyes. I know this whole thing is going to sound kind of cheesy, but really fight the urge to resist. Try to let go, to give in. Concentrate on my voice and my words, creating simplicity and serenity in your mind. Nod if you understand."

Kurt nods, his breath deepening but remaining very steady. Blaine has to restrain himself from making a move right away. _I trust you_. He gets himself under control and focuses his attention on Kurt's face.

"I want you to picture in your mind a house. Paint it any color you desire, make it big or small, give it windows, doors, rooms. Focus on details. What color are the walls? Are there pictures on them? If so, how many? What's the furniture like? Build these rooms, walk through them as they come to life before your eyes. You are willing it all there—make it count."

Blaine watches in fascination as Kurt's eyelids tremble, as if his eyes are moving in fast motion to see everything his mind is supplying. Blaine's eyes flicker down to Kurt's belly, amazed at how deeply Kurt is breathing, causing it to rise and fall immensely.

He had expected more resistance, more skepticism from someone like Kurt. He's usually so careful, always in control. _I trust you_ and _you're my best friend_ echo around Blaine's head, propelling him forward.

"You're coming to a staircase now. It has many steps, and you're feeling a bit tired, but you know you have to make it to the top. You push yourself, and finally get there. At the top of the stairs is a door. You go to open it, but it's locked. You understand that to know how to unlock it, you have to wake up. Okay? Wake up, Kurt," Blaine practically whispers, gasping slightly at the immediate reaction he gets from Kurt. Kurt's eyes snap open and look over at Blaine, patient and questioning. Blaine's never felt so powerful. _I trust you_.

"Sit up," he commands, and watches in wonder as Kurt does just that, sitting up straight, his eyes always on Blaine. "Amazing…how do you feel?"

"I…" Kurt hesitates, his mouth curling up in a small smile. "I feel a little…floaty. But also very grounded. Does that make sense?"

"Mmmm," Blaine hums, inspecting Kurt's face. He's clearly starting to be affected, but he doesn't seem to be completely in a trance. Blaine smiles; he prepared for this. "Let's experiment, okay? I'm going to ask you to do something I know you would never normally do, if I told you do. And if you do it, we know it's working. Sound good?"

Kurt just nods, his eyes still fixed on Blaine. Blaine steels himself for this one; he doesn't want to screw it up before anything's even begun.

"Take your shirt off," Blaine orders. Kurt's smile widens, as if he's about to laugh, but his arms move to obey. Before either of them has realized it, Kurt's shirt is on the bed next to him, and the weight of what that means settles between them.

"…wow," Blaine breathes out. He almost can't believe it. Kurt takes so_well_ to this, like he was _made_ for it. Kurt himself seems incredulous, though his smile remains stretched across his face.

"That's incredible, Blaine. I didn't know if….well, I guess I didn't think it could work that easily."

"It doesn't really, and we're not done. But it is pretty extraordinary how quickly you slipped into a trance. Can I experiment a little bit more? I promise, it'll only make you feel good, and then we'll stop and try again, see if we can't get you a bit deeper."

Kurt merely nods, his breath hitching when Blaine immediately gets up from his bed and comes right in front of him, sinking to a mid squat.

"Let me touch you," he commands. He senses a flash of apprehension in Kurt's body before it melts away, and he's nodding again, before letting his head fall back as Blaine reaches up to caress his nipples with his thumbs. Blaine massages over them firmly, making them hard and making Kurt gasp, wishing he could go straight for Kurt's dick, but knowing that Kurt still has too much of his mind to him. He still sees this as experimenting—to Kurt, it hasn't become erotic at all. _But just you wait,_ Blaine thinks. It's about to get _so_ much better.

He pulls his hands away, instructing Kurt to sit straight once again and put his shirt back on. Kurt seems a bit relieved at the return to even ground, but not at all shaken by Blaine's "experimentation". This is perfect….Blaine has him exactly where he needs to be if he's going to take it to the next level.

"Okay, Kurt, let's try it again. Lie back down," Blaine murmurs, lulling Kurt back into his position. Kurt eases himself down again, automatically closing his eyes. _I trust you_. Blaine has never seen anything so beautiful.

"The door opens easily now. You feel relieved at overcoming this challenge. As you step through, you realize you're on the roof, in the most spectacular garden you've ever seen. The sky is clear, and the sun warms your face, though you can't tell where it is. You walk among the rows of flowers and vegetables. You reach down to pick a tomato, perfectly red. You pop it in your mouth, savoring the explosion of flavor on your tongue as you chew."

Blaine watches in wonderment as Kurt's jaw actually shifts slightly, as if he's actually chewing. He has to close his eyes and take a deep breath before continuing.

"The smell of the flowers overpower your senses, and you sit down on a bench to take it all in. Vines appear above your head, spinning slowly as they come down around you. They whisper secrets to you, guiding you where you want to go. They tell you to listen, to obey. They tell you that when I say a command, you want to give in to it. You understand that what you truly want is to hand over all control to me, obeying everything I tell you to do. For instance, when I say the word control, you will take off an item of clothing. When I say the word react, every inch of your skin will feel extremely sensitive, and every time I touch you it will feel one hundred times more intense than usual. When I say lock, you will put your wrists together above your head and keep them there. When I say key, you will let them go. . You will listen when I instruct you to touch yourself, or to touch me. After all, you just want to be good. You may feel confused, because you've never wanted this before, but it just feels right. It's always been right."

Blaine's semi hard erection starts growing harder as he continues, the power he feels overpowering him and spurring him on.

"When I tell you to, you will wake up and come over to my bed, and kiss me. Wake up."

Blaine watches with wide eyes, his lips slightly parted, as Kurt reacts instantly, opening his eyes and sitting up, only to push himself to his feet and walk over to Blaine.

"Hey," he whispers as he settles into Blaine's lap, wrapping one hand around Blaine's hand, the other tangling in his hair to tilt it up. He leans down and presses his mouth to Blaine's, not even flinching when Blaine's tongue slips inside, massaging his own.

"_God_, Kurt," Blaine breathes when their lips finally pull away from each other. "You have no idea how sexy it is to watch you listen to me like that, completely under my control."

Kurt reaches for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head before reattaching his hands to Blaine's body. Blaine stares at the new expanse of skin. He hadn't intended to say control, but he's glad it slipped out, because the way Kurt moans when he starts sucking on his collarbone is _sinful_. _Time to test out the other trigger words_, Blaine thinks.

"And the way you _react_ to me, like you've never been touched like this before." Kurt stares moaning louder, bordering on screaming as Blaine mouths at his nipple, teasing it with his teeth and flicking his tongue across it over and over. Blaine is amazed that instructing Kurt to be more sensitive worked…he hadn't been sure that he could do that. But just with his mouth and that one command, Kurt's response has increased tenfold, his erection straining against his tight jeans. Speaking of which…

"Stand up," Blaine instructs. Kurt whines a bit at the loss of touching, his skin still in hypersensitive mode, but does as he's told. "Gotta love that control." Blaine smirks as his words trigger Kurt to pop the button open on his jeans, unzipping his fly and sliding them down his legs before kicking them off his feet.

He crowds into Kurt's personal space, anchoring his hands, one on a hip and the other holding firmly at the back of Kurt's neck, tilting his head back to allow Blaine access to his Adam's apple. He nips and sucks there for a moment, Kurt struggling not to thrash in his arms, before pulling Kurt's head back up and turning it so that his lips press against his ear.

"One last time, love. Let me control you."

Kurt's hands move to his hips and he pushes his underwear down them, kicking them off when they reach his feet. He gasps and moans when Blaine reaches out to touch his cock lightly, tracing it with his fingers. It slowly fills with blood, gradually growing harder, until a firmer grip of Blaine's hand and a whispered "react" have him thrusting up into Blaine's hand and rock hard in seconds.

"You're so beautiful, Kurt, so desperate for it, so desperate for _me_. I love it, I love you, this is all I've wanted for so long." Blaine reaches his other hand around to tease Kurt's crack, causing the taller man to whimper and fall forward slightly, bracing himself against Blaine, his head resting on Blaine's shoulders and his hands clutching at Blaine's hips.

Blaine turns them around and pushes Kurt onto his bed, switching hands on his dick to reach into his drawer and get his lube. Kurt's eyes flash with hesitation, but Blaine has his fingers slicked and one pressing at Kurt's hole before he's able to think too much about it.

"Talk to me, tell me how good it feels," Blaine encourages, pumping his finger in and out, adding a second one when Kurt starts pressing back.

"It—it feels so good, your fingers are so good," Kurt mutters, seemingly incapable of too much speech. That's fine with Blaine—he'll make Kurt scream before they're done here. He slips in a third, stretching Kurt well and making him cry out. When he feels like Kurt is ready, given his moaning and the fact that his hips are shoving back against Blaine's fingers, he pulls them free and grabs a condom. He considers for a moment not even using it, but figures that explaining why his come is in Kurt's ass is going to be near impossible.

"Lock," he commands, and Kurt's hands immediately fly up, his wrists crossing and holding above his head. Blaine groans at the sight.

He rolls the condom onto himself and lines himself up with Kurt's hole, throwing his long, pale legs over his shoulders before easing himself all the way in. Kurt's high whine the whole time makes Blaine want to just thrust away—so he does. He begins thrusting at top speed, knowing he's probably hurting Kurt a bit, but figuring that changing the angle to stimulate his prostate the most and reaching down to stroke his cock more than makes up for a little pain with his pleasure.

Kurt is screaming, alright, and it's music to Blaine's ears. He manages to speed up his thrusts, his hips slamming against Kurt's ass every time, and he wonders if, with the hypnosis, he'll be successful in convincing Kurt he had nothing to do with his sore ass. Oh well…this is either the beginning of something perfect, or Blaine's downfall. Either way, he has this amazing night to remember.

He feels his balls tightening, and refuses to come until Kurt does, so he begins thrusting harder and stroking ridiculously fast until Kurt is a complete mess, shouting and moaning and panting and _coming_ so hard between them. Blaine has_never_ seen anything so beautiful, and he thrusts in as deep as he can before pulsing his come into the condom, sweat dripping down his back, practically bending Kurt in half as he leans forward.

Kurt whimpers and he slowly eases his legs down, pulling out of Kurt's perfect ass and removing the condom before tying it off and throwing it out. When he looks over, Kurt's still lying on the bed, a come-streaked, exhausted, fucked-out mess. Blaine smiles wide.

"Key," Blaine says, and Kurt relaxes his arms.

"Come here," he instructs, and relishes in the careful way Kurt sits up, stretches out, and stands to walk over to Blaine. Blaine cleans him up with some wipes, making sure as much evidence is removed as possible.

"Put all your clothes back on, then lie down on your bed and close your eyes." Kurt does as he's told, and Blaine regrets telling him to clothe himself, even though he knows he had to. When Kurt's lying down and his eyes are closed, Blaine puts his own clothes back on, opens a window and takes his trash out to dispose of the condom for good. When he returns, his room has aired out enough that the smell of sweat and sex only remain if one knows to smell for it.

Blaine grins at the sight of Kurt still on his bed, eyes closed and a peaceful expression gracing his gorgeous face. Blaine can't help but think that he certainly managed to achieve the ultimate goal—get Kurt to relax and be less stressed. He takes a seat on his own bed before speaking.

"When I tell you to, you're going to wake up. You won't remember any of this. The only thing that you will recall are your trigger words. Even when you are awake and aware, and no longer under my spell, you will still submit to me when I utter those words. You may not know why, and I will never abuse my power and make you do anything in front of anyone else, but you will learn to be mine. You will like what we do together, even if you're not always sure you want it. Also, when you wake up, you will want to ask me on a date. You should act on that impulse whenever you desire. But you will remember none of what I'm telling you now, or anything we did together."

Kurt's smile is content as he nods his head minutely, still in his trance. Blaine can't help but smirk.

"Now picture yourself back in our dorm. The house, the garden, they all fade away as reality takes shape in your mind, reestablishing itself as your center. You're glad to be back. A vacation's nice, but real life always kicks in at some point. You breathe in, breathe out, and open your eyes. You're back, Kurt. Wake up."

Blaine watches cautiously as Kurt's eyes blink open. He sits up somewhat abruptly, seemingly out of sorts. He looks around a bit before his eyes settle on Blaine. His expression softens and he smiles, although he looks a bit confused. But Blaine knows—Kurt has no idea. He _did it_. Kurt is his, now. And they belong together, just as Blaine always knew they did.

* * *

A lot of the hypnosis in this story is completely unrealistic and inaccurately portrayed, so I'm taking artistic license on that one. However, some of it was inspired by this article. But most of it is completely made up and would never actually work, at least to my knowledge. For the record, I did actually do a bit of research! I just didn't find enough of what I needed, so I had to kind of pave my own way with this one.


	4. Lights On

Lights On

Summary:

And this won't get any easier

Now that your heart is beating in my hand

And I'll try not to destroy you, baby

Even though we both know I can

Rating: M

Warnings: Bullying (? does that count as a warning?)

Song: /watch?v=u5Xf96j5qq4&feature=relmfu

* * *

Kurt sits on the edge of the stage in the darkened theatre, dangling his legs and trying to stop crying. His efforts are futile, of course, considering tears have been slowly streaking his face for about an hour. He had managed to hold them in long enough to get back to the dressing room, change back into his street clothes, and wait for the auditorium to clear out before he broke down. Luckily, not many people went searching for him, and those who did were easily dismissed.

At this point, his breathing has evened out, and he's just quietly sobbing, hiccupping occasionally and sniffling as he calms down. He wipes at his eyes, the few final tears coming away on his knuckles, and he swallows down the last of the lump in his throat.

He hears a loud thud off to his side, and his gaze snaps from the empty auditorium seats to the stage wings.

"Kurt?" Blaine is standing in the wings, a large, bulky bag at his feet, Kurt pushes himself back and up, walking quickly over to his boyfriend as the tears start up again.

"Oh, baby," Blaine coos as he wraps Kurt up in his arms, the taller boy leaning against him and crying into his neck. "Please stop crying, Kurt, please. I'm here now, it's all going to be alright," Blaine begs, rubbing his hands up and down Kurt's back soothingly.

"H-how can you s-say that?" Kurt chokes out. "They w-were horrible to me. This has b-been the worst day of m-my life!"

"Shhh," Blaine whispers, the distress clear on his face and in his voice. "Please Kurt, please believe me when I say it's going to be fine, I promise. I would never lie to you, ever, Kurt. Why don't you go wash up in the bathroom? I'll be here when you're done. Take all the time you need." Blaine pulls back a little, still holding Kurt in his arms, to give him a tender kiss on his forehead.

Kurt nods and sniffles, wiping at his face before moving out of the warm comfort of Blaine's arms to head to the bathroom.

Kurt hurries through the empty hallways to the closest bathroom, pushing his way in and heading straight for the towel dispenser. He pulls a few paper towels out and blows his nose loudly, using a few more to wipe away the rest of the tears staining his cheeks. He throws them all away and moves over to the sink, gripping the sides. He looks up into the mirror, and sighs as his red-rimmed eyes stare back at him.

Memories blur his vision until he can no longer see his reflection. It's like a T.V. screen—he sees a montage, the images changing in quick succession, and yet each one seemingly slowed down. He sees the cast on stage, his character's first entrance, Blaine giving him a hug and telling him what a great job he's doing so far during intermission, Blaine not letting go of his hand until the curtain went back up. He sees the start of Act Two, the climax of the play, hears the thunderous applause as the curtain calls begin, sees himself running out and taking a bow, all smiles when he spots his dad and Carole and Finn in the front row, all giving him a standing ovation.

He can feel his smile fading when the football team, all lined up in the back row, holds up crudely made posters boasting harsh words, staggering insults about his sexuality, his appearance, their yells and jeers to get the "ugly lady" off the stage, out of the school, the shower of water balloons filled with slushies that comes pouring down on him, mostly missing him, some just bouncing but many of them bursting open at his feet, the freezing liquid splashing up his legs. He can see himself fleeing, escaping to the dressing room where he feels numb as he cleans himself up and changes, avoiding the concerned knocks from his cast mates, pushing past them and making his escape.

He opens his eyes to find his reflection back in his vision. His eyes are dry, and the tears have left a deadened look in their place. Kurt doesn't even realize he's turned the sink on until his hands are splashing cold water on his face, and he's sputtering and reaching for more paper towels to pat himself dry. He gives himself one last look in the mirror, not caring that his skin is going to be barely manageable later on, and makes his way back through the halls to where his boyfriend waits for him in the auditorium.

When he steps through the wings and back onto the stage, he gasps at the sight he's greeted with. Blaine is standing in the middle of the stage, the bag he had brought with him now empty, a large air mattress blown up next to him with soft blue sheets and a plushy white comforter resting on top of it, pillows outlining the whole thing. The only light on in the entire auditorium is a single spotlight, bright and powerful, hitting directly onto the bed Blaine has set up.

"Blaine?" Kurt says, then winces as the sounds rings out slightly in the silent room. He clears his throat and takes a cautious step closer, Blaine immediately walking straight to him and lacing both their hands together. "What…is all this?"

Blaine gives him those sad, hopeful eyes before leaning in for a kiss. It breaks Kurt's heart to see those eyes fall to the floor when he pulls away before Blaine's lips can touch his.

"I—I'm sorry, I just…don't feel much like kissing, right now," he mutters, trying to wriggle his fingers free from Blaine's grasp. Blaine just holds on tighter, looking back up into Kurt's once again shining eyes.

"Okay," Blaine says resolutely. "That's fine. But can you please tell me why? We agreed to always be honest with each other and…I just want you to be honest with me about this. Why don't you want to kiss me?"

"I just don't want to kiss you _right now_, Blaine, it's…it's not that big a deal." Kurt tries to duck his head but Blaine brings one of his hands, still intertwined with Kurt's, to hold his chin in place, forcing their gaze to hold.

"Kurt. Honest. Please." Kurt looks down and sighs heavily.

"It's not that I don't…_want_ to kiss you, I always want to kiss you, I just…I'm not feeling very…um, attractive, I guess," Kurt whispers into the air between them, his words feeling heavy and trailing off at the end. He feels Blaine's fingers slip from his chin and looks up, only to wish he hadn't. Blaine's eyes look pained, and Kurt imagines that no good can come from a look like that.

"C'mere," Blaine says, letting one of his hands drop from Kurt's and tugging Kurt towards the strange bed set up with the other. "Sit," he instructs, and Kurt's too confused to argue, sitting down on the air mattress and looking up at Blaine, shielding his eyes from the near blinding spotlight, as his boyfriend paces a bit in front of him.

"Blaine? Not to…interrupt, or anything, but, um…are we even allowed to be here right now?" Blaine's head snaps up at Kurt's words, and he joins him on the bed, sitting next to him and taking hold of his hands again.

"Yes. I got special permission from Mr. Shuester to let us stay in here for a little while. Granted, he doesn't know what we're doing in here, but I think he knows I'm going to try and make you feel better, so he said yes."

Kurt ponders this for a minute, wondering what exactly Mr. Shuester _did_think they'd be doing with an air mattress on the school stage, and why exactly he had the authority to give them permission to be here, but he tries not to think too hard about it.

"So…what exactly _are_ we doing here?" Kurt asks. Blaine gives him one last searching look, then suddenly Kurt is on his back on the little bed, Blaine hovering above him.

"Wha—Blaine!?" Kurt looks up at him frantically, suddenly hyper aware of the spotlight currently being shined directly on him. He tries to shift away from the light, but Blaine catches him, holding him in place, leaning down to rest fully over him, effectively trapping Kurt to the bed.

"Blaine, please, whatever this is…I'm not in the mood. I don't—I can't—this really isn't—"

"Shhhh," Blaine cuts him off. "Please, just…give me a chance, here. Let me…let me make you feel _attractive_." Blaine whispers all of this into Kurt's ear, following his words with his tongue, running it along the shell and down Kurt's neck, sucking lightly on his Adam's apple before looking up at Kurt's groan.

"Blaine," Kurt whines, his eyes confused, though his hands cling to Blaine's back in need.

"Let me show you how beautiful you are, Kurt," Blaine says, slowly moving his hands to Kurt's hips to rub his thumbs gently in soft circles along Kurt's hipbones. "Let me show you just how wrong every one of those jerks is about you," he whispers into Kurt's navel after lifting his shirt up past his bellybutton, tracing light patterns with his tongue, the light illuminating his exposed stomach. "Let me show you just how desirable you are…just how amazing, and wonderful, and unbelievably sexy your body is." Blaine has lifted Kurt's shirt up past his nipples, his tongue and fingers lazily outlining the hard nubs before lighting pinching and sucking on them. Kurt is frozen under Blaine's ministrations, his eyes wide and his breathing heavy.

Blaine pulls Kurt's shirt up over his head, and Kurt immediately covers himself with his arms. Blaine tuts and grabs Kurt's wrists, pinning them to either side of his head.

"You're not allowed to hide from me, Kurt," Blaine whispers against his lips, his voice shaky and desperate and a little bit threatening, all at once. He kisses him once, softly, before pushing himself back up, still holding Kurt's arms down, and staring at the expanse of skin now exposed. Kurt squirms uncomfortably, looking everywhere but at Blaine.

"If I let go, will you leave your hands where they are?" Kurt finally looks up at Blaine, nodding slowly after a moment. Blaine cautiously removes his tight grip from Kurt's wrists, smiling down at him when Kurt immediately moves them to Blaine's waist instead of covering himself back up.

"That's it, baby, let me see you," Blaine says, brushing his lips across Kurt's jaw, moving them down his throat and lightly teasing them against his nipples. Kurt arches into the touch, his fingers tightening around Blaine's waist. Blaine continues to kiss down Kurt's chest until he runs out of skin. Kurt has moved his hands to Blaine's hair and Blaine moves his hands to Kurt's pants, unbuttoning them and unzipping them before quickly pulling them down.

Kurt resists the urge to draw his legs up and hide. He's trying so hard, trying so hard to see what Blaine sees. The light emphasizes his pale skin, and all he can think is that he looks washed out and yellowish.

"Blaine…I don't feel very sexy," he mumbles, turning his head to the side and avoiding the searching gaze from the boy tucked in between his legs.

"Let me help you with that," Blaine finally says after moments of not saying anything and simply watching Kurt. He reaches up and pulls Kurt's boxers down too, taking Kurt's right leg in his hands and lifting it up, the light casting contrasting shadows across his face. He stretches his neck and starts to kiss at the back of Kurt's calf, causing the stretched out boy to swallow a giggle at the slight tickle. Blaine just keeps up his kisses, reaching the back of Kurt's knee and teasing up his thigh, nibbling slightly in places to redden the skin. He stops right before Kurt's half hard cock, and moves to the other leg.

"Your legs are so strong, Kurt…so masculine and defined. I could kiss them for hours and never be bored." Blaine catches a bit of skin where Kurt's thigh begins and flicks his tongue against it, sucking and biting slightly, a dark bruise starting to form. He moves up Kurt's left thigh the same way he did the right, but he doesn't stop this time.

Kurt half-groans, half-chokes when Blaine sucks one of his balls into his mouth, his cock hardening rapidly. He can feel Blaine nosing at his skin down there, inhaling his scent.

"You smell amazing. You _taste_ amazing. Do you remember the first time I ever went down on you? I couldn't stop staring because I couldn't believe how perfect your cock was-_is_. It's so thick and perfectly heavy on my tongue, Kurt, and you're _so_ hot when you're moaning above me and trying not to thrust too hard, but if I'm being honest…I _love_ it when you get a little rough baby. It's like you're possessing me, marking me, making sure I know that I'm yours and no one else's."

Kurt's sweating and panting heavily now, having given in and looked down to watch Blaine a while ago. Blaine doesn't break eye contact when he finally sucks the tip of Kurt's dick in his mouth, tonguing over the head and lapping at the slit. Kurt cries out at the sensation, his hips thrusting up of their own accord. He almost loses it right then when Blaine moans at the feeling, so Kurt thrusts up again, a little more intentionally.

Blaine grabs Kurt's hips, pulling encouragingly, and Kurt sets a steady rhythm, fucking into Blaine's mouth and grunting; he's at a complete loss for words at just how _incredible_ it feels.

Soon he's sliding down Blaine's throat on every other thrust, and he almost blacks out when Blaine begins swallowing around him. He can feel Blaine's fingers digging into his hips, but he doesn't care—he wants those bruises to be dark, he wants Blaine's hands to be the only ones that fit them. God, he wants to be Blaine's just as much as Blaine is proving himself to be Kurt's.

When Kurt dares to look down at the sight below him, he knows he won't be able to last much longer. Blaine is still looking at him; he never stopped looking at him, and he's fisting his own cock, unbelievably hard and fast, just at the image of Kurt falling apart.

And suddenly, Kurt gets it a little. Seeing how beautiful Blaine looks like this: sweaty and debauched and overwhelmed with sensation, Kurt starts to understand. It doesn't matter what other people think or say. Blaine is his, and he's Blaine's, and it only matters what Blaine thinks of him. Blaine thinks he's sexy, and Kurt is starting to believe it too.

Blaine's suction gets stronger, and he's swallowing around Kurt's dick constantly, and as Kurt begins to come hard, he sees Blaine come as well, getting off on _him_ getting off, their sweat and come glistening in the intense light of the spotlight.

He watches Blaine clean up, admiring the way his body looks in the shadows. Blaine walks over to him, still sprawled out on the bed, when he's done, and spreads a blanket over Kurt's body before laying down and cuddling up to his side. Kurt looks down at his sweaty, boneless body, harshly highlighted under the spotlight, and starts to forget all about the jocks. If Blaine thinks he's beautiful, then so does he.


	5. Lies

Lies

Summary:

Can't you see I'm wounded baby?

Go ahead and put me down

You keep saying that I'm crazy

There's just rumors going round

I am dying to believe you

Tell me what should I do?

Who would want to play a fool

And then find out that it was true?

Rating: M

Warnings: **_***VERY SLIGHT DUBCON***_**

Song: /watch?v=WMFrCQmz3kY&feature=relmfu

* * *

Blaine turns onto his side to check his phone on the bedside table. No texts; no calls. 2:17 AM. He sighs in frustration at his inability to sleep. It's not like this is anything new.

He turns back over, convincing himself to let it go and get some rest. He thinks about Kurt, and when they first got together. How easy it had been to fall in love, how comfortable Blaine had felt in Kurt's arms. He remembers the first time they made love, Kurt opening him up so gently, rocking into him, lost in ecstasy together as they came. It had been beautiful.

Blaine feels himself drifting off to sleep at these comforting thoughts. Just as he manages to slip into a light sleep, he's struck awake by a loud clattering at the door and hushed giggles and whispers.

"Shhhhhh! We—we have to be quiiiiet," he hears Kurt breathe out between chuckles. "My boyfriend's asleep in there!"

"Okay, okay, okay," he hears another voice say, heaving slightly as if trying to reign in his laughter. "I think I've got a solution. To stop laughing, we should start kissing." Blaine squeezes his eyes shut and feels his face pull into a grimace. So it was going to be one of _those_ nights.

After that, all he hears are the noises of two mouths sliding together and heavy panting and clothes rustling, but not coming off, never coming off, and more hushes and breathy moans. He puts a pillow over his head to try and block it out, but they're too loud, they're too enthusiastic, God hates him too much to even grant him that one small victory.

Finally, after what seems like hours, he hears them slow down.

"Thanks, babe," the man says. Blaine thinks that maybe he's Kurt's new friend from his play. He doesn't sound familiar and Kurt has been talking the guy up ever since he joined the cast. Blaine wonders what he looks like.

"Anytime," Kurt responds. Blaine can hear the smile in his voice.

Blaine listens as they move back to the door, and Kurt gives the new guy a lingering goodbye kiss. He hears the door shut, and waits for Kurt to come into their bedroom. Instead, he hears the sound of cabinets opening in the kitchen, the clink of ice in a glass, and even from several rooms away, he gets a whiff of the whiskey Kurt pours.

Blaine moves onto his back, wondering how Kurt can be having yet _another_drink after being out all night. Lost in his thoughts, he misses it when Kurt approaches the door, leaning against the post, half empty glass in hand.

"Heyyy, Blaine," Kurt says, seemingly trying to be quiet and failing miserably. "You're still up. That's so weird. You should be _asleep_." Kurt cuts himself off by laughing at a joke Blaine doesn't get.

"Yeah, well, I was worried about you. You never called to tell me where you'd be," Blaine answers. Not that he ever calls.

"Oh, baby, I'm sorry, sorrysorrysorry," Kurt slurs, still grinning. "I just went out for a few drinks with some friends. But I'm home now, 'm home now, baby." Kurt throws back the rest of his drink and stumbles into the room, clumsily setting the glass down on the bedside table. "I'm home now, and I loooove you, and we should get naked and have some funnn."

With that, Kurt falls unceremoniously onto Blaine, barely staying on the bed as he tries to straddle him, pressing their chests together.

"Jesus, Kurt, you reek," Blaine says, turning his face away when Kurt tries to kiss him. Kurt's lips collide with his jaw instead, and he sucks noisily on Blaine's skin.

"Baby, please, pleaseplease, c'mon, want you so bad, love you so much," Kurt mumbles into Blaine's neck.

"Who was your friend?" Blaine asks, unable to keep the edge from his voice. It's not like Kurt would pick up on it anyway.

"Who? Oh, him. No, no, he's just thisss…friend, from my cast, y'know, we got some new members recently, I was just showing him around town." Kurt returns to sucking on Blaine's neck, teasing the flesh with little nibbles. Blaine feels like he's suffocating.

"A friend? Who you…kiss?" Blaine asks, forcing Kurt's face away from him to look him in the eyes. Blaine tries not to look too jealous, or too upset, knowing Kurt will just laugh at him.

"Blaine, baby, baby, babybabybaby, he's just a _friend_, I kiss my friends _all the time_, you know, it was jusssst a goodnight kiss, just a little peck, it was nothing, baby, seriously, nothing, I promise. I love _you_, only you." Blaine thinks back to the sounds he had heard, and considers saying that a goodnight peck didn't require making out on the couch, when Kurt pushes himself up on his hands and begins to tug at Blaine's shirt.

"This should come off, right _now_," Kurt whines.

"Kurt," Blaine tries to get his attention as Kurt pulls his own shirt over his head and then returns his attention to Blaine's, successfully shoving it past his shoulders and up over his head, tossing it on the floor. "Kurt, please, don't. I'm tired, and I really don't like being with you like this. You're _drunk_, Kurt, I hate it when you drink, you know that, so please, stop, please, I just want to go to sleep."

But Kurt doesn't listen. He begins to kiss down Blaine's chest, licking around his nipples and sucking lightly on them, grazing his teeth down Blaine's happy trail, muttering into his skin, "You don't mean that, you love me. I'm fine, 'm not that drunk, really, please Blaine, just let me make you feel good. Don't you want to feel good? I promise you'll like it Blaine, please, I love you, I love your body, I love you, Iloveyousomuch, baby, pleaseplease."

And how can Blaine say no? How can Blaine deny this beautiful boy exactly what he wants? The boy he fell in love with the second he laid eyes on him that day on the staircase, the boy who he shared the past 8 years of his life with, the boy who always knew just what to say to make him feel better.

As Kurt begins to kitten lick around the waistband of Blaine's jeans, and then pull them down, along with his underwear, Blaine pushes that little voice far back in his mind. The little voice that says "This is wrong, you're enabling him, don't do this, push him away, you should've left him when this all started, you should help him, why aren't you helping him? Get him help, and if you can't, get out. Blaine, this is wrong, stop stop stop stop stop."

Blaine blocks it all out as Kurt takes him into his mouth, as far as he can go. He gives in to the pleasure, the hot suction around his dick, allows the carnal instinct take over, refusing to let logic get in the way. He thrusts up, trying to lose himself in that mouth, trying to crawl inside and never come out, never have to face any of this again. It's safer here.

As his orgasm builds, Kurt sucks harder, and Blaine forgets everything for a moment, and his brain takes him back to when they first did this. It was sweet, and awkward, and so, so careful, neither of them wanting to scare the other off. It had felt so good, being touched and kissed and licked for the first time, with someone so beautiful, so wonderful, so loving and caring.

This is the thought that brings Blaine over the edge. He comes hard down Kurt's throat to thoughts of the gorgeous boy tentatively taking the head of his cock into his mouth, and that first time, that had been it for Blaine; he came instantly at the first touch of that magical tongue. It almost feels like that again, until Kurt comes back up for a kiss, and reality hits Blaine like a freight train.

"Mmmm, you taste so good, baby, love you so much," Kurt mumbles, slurring as he presses a sloppy kiss against Blaine's mouth before slumping off to the side. With half of Kurt's body still pressed against him, Blaine tries to fall asleep, Kurt's sour breath taunting him with never ending reminders of how it used to be.


	6. Turn on Billie

Turn on Billie

Summary:

And it's funny to me

The way that things have worked out

There's no doubt in my mind

That you can't recall what this song was about

So let's give it up…

Rating: M

Warnings: Toys, prostitution

Song: /watch?v=st-lLCNO7LA&feature=relmfu

* * *

"Blaine, come on, you've been in the shower for over thirty minutes!"

Blaine doesn't hear him; he's singing at the top of his lungs, focusing on scrubbing his body-wash evenly over his skin.

When he shuts off the water after rinsing out his hair, he finally notices the incessant knocking on the bathroom door. Grabbing a towel and hastily wrapping it around his waist, he opens the door to let the knocker in.

A naked Sebastian Smythe stands at the door, looking _pissed_.

"Christ, Blaine, is there even a chance that there's hot water left?" he spits out, though his eyes give Blaine's still wet body an appreciative once over.

"Oh, c'mon Bas, you know there's always hot water. Stop being such a drama queen." Blaine smiles and loops his hand around Sebastian's cock, giving it a few strokes and causing the taller man's hands to fall from his hips, moving to grip the door frame.

"Don't start something you can't finish, Anderson," he growls, the heat behind his words dying out slightly due to the impassioned moan that escapes his lips directly after he speaks.

Blaine just beams at him and lets go after a few more strokes. He pushes past Sebastian and heads across the hall to his room, unwrapping the towel and driving himself off. He doesn't notice that Sebastian has followed him until he feels someone grab his ass.

"Cut it out!" Blaine giggles and squirms out of Sebastian's reach. Sebastian just smirks and leans against the wall.

"So…an extra long shower, you're in your 'everything is beautiful and happy' mood…can only mean one thing, right?"  
Blaine grins at him, nodding excitedly.

"Kurt Hummel is back from vacation today. And Blaine Anderson is going to be sore for _days_," Sebastian teases, his smirk widening when Blaine's whole body gives an anticipatory shudder.

"I can't _wait_ for him to get here. In his last letter, he said he has a surprise for me, and his surprises always make me crazy."

Blaine reaches into the top drawer of his bedside table and pulls out a giant bottle of lube, setting it down on the table before reaching back in to pull out a few condoms, placing them next to it.

"D'you want me to prep you?" Sebastian asks, his eyes darkening as he takes the slightest step closer to Blaine. Blaine takes a step away from him in response.  
"Absolutely not, Bas. Last time you asked to 'just prep me', it lasted forty-five minutes and you made me come three times before you declared me well stretched. I don't have the time or the stamina for that right now," Blaine chides. "Besides, Kurt loves to finger me." He putters about, picking things up from his floor and tidying up his bed. He knows how much Kurt loves neatness.

"Yeah…that was a fun time," Sebastian muses, his smirk wide. "Speaking of fun, do you think Kurt's surprise will include me again? God, the way he sucked me…and the way he _fucked_ me; I've never come so hard in my life."

Blaine looks over and sees Sebastian working himself up, pinching his nipples and lightly running his fingers along his hard cock.

"Sorry, I don't think so. Kurt made it sound like it's just going to be us, at least today." Sebastian's whine as he grips his cock harder is tantalizing enough to cause Blaine to straighten up from where he was smoothing the sheets down, watching him for a few minutes and starting to grow hard himself, before he realizes what time it is.

"Look, that's…really distracting. Didn't you want to shower? Go finish that in the shower, and let _me_ finish getting ready."

Sebastian opens his eyes, fixing them on Blaine's while still stroking his cock. Blaine swallows, unable to look away.

"Yeah, okay. Go get 'im, killer," Sebastian says, smirking and turning to leave, finally taking his hand off his dick.

"And make sure to tell me every last detail!" he calls over his shoulder as he heads into the bathroom. Blaine rolls his eyes; as if he ever _doesn't_ tell Sebastian everything he does with Kurt.

Finally satisfied with the way his room looks, he slips on his tight black boxer briefs and heads downstairs to wait for Kurt.

He only has to wait about ten minutes. He hears the door open, and sees Kurt coming in, dressed immaculately as always, in a dark grey button down coat over tight black pants. His boots come up right under his knee—Blaine's glad he didn't wear his mid-thigh ones, because as sexy as they look, they take _far_ too long to get off. Kurt glances his way a few times as he chats with Will.

Will is creepily checking Kurt out, and as Kurt pays, he lets out an uncomfortable laugh—Will must have asked to watch again. Blaine chuckles before his mouth shuts and his eyes go wide when he sees the wad of cash Kurt passes to will. That…is a _lot_ of money. How much time is Kurt paying for? Blaine's dick gives a twitch as his fantasies run wild, imagining Kurt tying him up and fucking him for _hours_. Or, _god_, letting him tie _Kurt_ up. He licks his lips as he pictures it, wishing Kurt would hurry up with Will.

Finally, he and Will are done, and Blaine tries to ignore Will staring at Kurt's ass as he makes his way over to Blaine. Blaine stands up, looking up into Kurt's eyes and leaning in to kiss him. But Kurt backs away before Blaine's lips can touch his. He smirks, winking at Blaine as he grabs his hand and tugs him in the direction of the stairs, bee lining to Blaine's room.

"Tease," Blaine mutters under his breath, although there's no point pretending he doesn't love it. Kurt unlocked just how much Blaine loves being teased when he tied Blaine to the bed, put a cock ring on him, and then proceeded to ravish his body with Sebastian for the better part of two hours before letting him come.

Speaking of Sebastian, the taller man is standing in the bathroom door, drying his hair with a towel, but otherwise still dripping wet and stark naked.

"Kurt, it's so good to see y—"

"Hi Sebastian, bye Sebastian," Kurt says. Blaine barely has time to register Sebastian's pout before he's pulled into his room, the door slamming shut and his body being shoved against it.

"_Oh, god_," he moans as Kurt starts right in, sucking on his neck and reaching behind Blaine to lock the door.

"Miss me?" Kurt teases, moving his mouth to Blaine's ear, sucking and nibbling at his earlobe before moving to mouth at the sensitive skin behind his ear.

"Ah—ah, _yes_ Kurt, god, so much, you have no idea." Blaine whines when Kurt moves a hand down to palm over his erection roughly, the soft cotton of his underwear only making the sensation that much stronger.

"Tell me," Kurt whispers, going in to _finally_ kiss Blaine—_devour_ him is more like it—before dropping to his knees and licking at Blaine's erection through the cloth.

"_God_, Kurt, I missed you so much. I dreamed about you every night; sometimes we were fucking, but most of the time we were just talking in my bed, and all I wanted when I woke up was to be wrapped in your arms."

Kurt looks up at him with lust-filled eyes. Blaine knows how much Kurt loves dirty talk, but he knows Kurt loves _this_ even more: being talked to like he's Blaine's boyfriend, his _lover_, rather than just another client.  
Kurt has pulled Blaine's underwear under his balls, which he's now sucking on enthusiastically, forcing Blaine to choke out some random sounds before finally giving up on talking.  
Kurt doesn't seem to mind, just mouths happily at the underside of Blaine's cock, moving his hands to grip Blaine's ass cheeks before sucking the head into his mouth and pulling Blaine's hips away from the door, effectively shoving Blaine's entire dick down his throat.

Blaine understands what Kurt is asking him to do, and begins to fuck Kurt's mouth in earnest, gripping his hands in Kurt's hair and hanging on for the ride. His eyes are shut and his head is thrown back. When Kurt moves one hand to play with his balls again, Blaine nearly screams at the intense pleasure.

The hand still on his ass gives a sharp squeeze and Blaine looks down to see Kurt's eyes on him, nose pressed to Blaine's stomach and his other hand still caressing Blaine's balls. All it takes is one more swallow around him from Kurt, and Blaine is screaming as he comes hard down Kurt's throat, collapsing to the floor when Kurt removes his hands and mouth.

Kurt gives him all of one minute to recover before speaking.

"Up," he instructs, reaching a hand out to help. Blaine grips his forearm and pulls, getting to his feet a bit unsteadily.

It doesn't help his balance when Kurt tugs him against his body and proceeds to kiss him senseless, the taste of Blaine's come still present in his mouth, making it all the more erotic. Blaine's lips follow Kurt's when he breaks away, trying to get his mouth back, but Kurt has stepped away and is pointing to the bed.

Blaine hurries over to it, spreading his legs wide once he's lying down, and watching eagerly as Kurt picks up the lube and settles between Blaine's legs. Blaine looks at him strangely when Kurt doesn't do anything.

"So…here's the thing. Remember my surprise?" Kurt starts, looking a little nervous.

Blaine nods, still a little too disoriented for speech.

"Well, I need to kind of…_really_ finger you for it to work. Do you get what I mean?" Blaine doesn't, and he clears his throat and speaks, expressing this.

"I mean, you've obviously fingered me before…a lot. What exactly does '_really_' fingering me entail?" Kurt takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself for what he's about to say.

"Like…I need to use them all. _All_ of my fingers…at once. As in, my whole hand."

Blaine's eyes go wide, and he's moaning and nodding and surging up to kiss Kurt roughly before he even registers what he just agreed to.

Kurt's eyes are surprised and he giggles as Blaine kisses him over and over, on his lips and then all over his face.

"Alright, alright, I get it, you like the idea!" Kurt gasps out between his laughter, grabbing at Blaine's face to stop his kissing. Blaine meets his eyes and inhales sharply at the intensity he finds there.

"Kurt," he moans brokenly, moving his own hands from Kurt's shoulders to clutch at his face.

"Shhh, shhhh, Blaine…" Kurt whispers, his eyes never leaving Blaine's, staring fixedly, holding him there. "Thank you. Thank you for trusting me with this."

If Blaine hadn't been so close to Kurt's mouth, he wouldn't have heard it. The tenderness and passion behind Kurt's words make him shiver slightly.

He presses one last, sweet kiss to Kurt's lips before lying back down and spreading his legs as wide as he can. Kurt licks his lips, the intensity in his gaze sharpening and honing in on Blaine's ass.

Kurt picks up the lube and spreads some on his fingers, also pouring a bit down Blaine's crack. It's cold, but Blaine's used to it, and he knows just how hot they're about to get.

Kurt starts off by just rubbing his fingers around Blaine's hole, sliding them up and down his crack, coating everything in lube. Blaine's cock starts to harden again when Kurt slips just the tip of his thumb in, teasingly thrusting as slightly as he can.

Blaine moans when Kurt presses his thumb in further, pushing down and causing his hole to stretch. He screams when he feels Kurt's tongue prodding at his hole, right above his thumb. Kurt fucks into him with them alternately, pushing his tongue in as his thumb pulls out, and vice versa.

Blaine whines when Kurt stops, moving both his face and his hand away from Blaine's ass. Kurt chuckles a bit at his neediness, coating his fingers in more lube and immediately thrusting two into Blaine's hole, making him moan so loud the entire house probably heard him. Kurt doesn't wait for him to adjust to the stretch, just fucks him with the two fingers until he's loose around them.

He adds a third, never slowing down his thrusting, and Blaine's moans get louder as he starts to fuck back on Kurt's fingers.

"God, _more_, Kurt, please, I can't, I need more, please, please—AHHH!" Blaine starts screaming and thrashing as Kurt tucks his pinky in as well, slowing down just a tad. They've never done more than three fingers before, and Blaine can feel it as Kurt's _palm_ slides into his ass. He's never felt so close to someone, never felt so attuned to what Kurt needs and Kurt's ability to know what he needs.

He doesn't know how long Kurt fucks him with four fingers, only knows that he is impossibly hard and incredibly loud at this point. Kurt bends over him to kiss him, their lips sliding sloppily together as he shoves his fingers in hard, hitting Blaine's prostate, ripping a scream out of Blaine's throat that he swallowed with his kisses.

"God, Kurt c'mon, I want more, I want _all of it_," Blaine pants against Kurt's lips, throwing his head back at a particularly good thrust of Kurt's four fingers.

"Oh, god, yes, Blaine, you're so hot, so beautiful, you don't even know," Kurt babbles as he reaches for the lube, sliding his fingers mostly out and spreading more of the liquid on his whole hand, even up his wrist and forearm a bit, just to be safe. He then carefully tucks his thumb into his palm and begins pushing in.

"Hnnnng!" Blaine whines, high and clear, and so, so desperate. He vaguely registers Kurt talking to him, but he can't seem to fully process anything except for the _fist_ currently stretching his hole too wide. It feels so intense, and it's definitely too much, but he's never wanted something to hurt so good.

"More," he pleads, shoving his hips forward slightly and forcing Kurt's fist in further before either of them are ready.

"_Christ_, Blaine, slow down, you're going to hurt yourself," Kurt moans, barely in control of himself and both he and Blaine struggle to stay still.

"I don't care, I don't care, just…_more_, please, just keep going Kurt, god I wanna feel it _all_." He starts pressing his ass against Kurt's hand again, slower this time, and Kurt works with him to ease his fist further. When Blaine's hole is stretched around his wrist, he begins thrusting minutely. Apparently, to Blaine, the movement is significant, and his screams return full force.

"Shit, god, fuck, Kurt I'm not, I can't—I'm not gunna last, this is just,_fuuuck_, so incredible, so _much_, just, don't stop, more, more, please, wanna come, need to-_shit!_" As Blaine blathers on, Kurt starts thrusting a bit faster, and Blaine can't take it anymore, the stretch combined with the constant pressure of Kurt's_entire hand_ on his prostate—he comes, hard, all over himself, whining and moaning and grinding his hips.

At Blaine's over sensitive groans, Kurt very carefully pulls his hand out, staring at Blaine's red and slick hole.

"I hate to break it to you, babe, but…that wasn't even the surprise. There's more to come…that was just the prep." Kurt smirks evilly at Blaine's worried—albeit turned on—expression, and reaches into his bag for something. He pulls out a long box, and once Blaine has mustered up the energy to sit up, hands it to him to open.

Blaine glances at Kurt, then eyes the box, then tentatively moves the cover off. He gasps when he sees what's inside. Resting on the tissue paper is the longest, thickest, _reddest_ vibrator he's ever seen. And for some reason, he's hit with an overwhelming, sickeningly sweet smell of cherry.

"_Woah_."

"…yeah. I…saw it online. A lot of people complained about the smell, but seeing how big it is and how strong, I just couldn't help myself. So…um. I bought it. And I thought of you, when I did. I actually…I named it. It's…Billie. I'm not sure why, that just…seemed to fit. So…are you willing to try it out?"

Blaine looks up to see Kurt eyeing him nervously, as if he genuinely doubts Blaine's answer will be yes.

Instead of telling him, Blaine decides to show him, grabbing the vibrator and switching it on. Even at the lowest speed, it's pretty strong, and Blaine moans at the thought of it inside him. He lowers it to his hole, almost second-guessing himself because he just came _twice_ and this is going to _hurt_ but…Blaine kind of likes when it hurts. So he goes for it anyway.

Just pressing the low buzzing, thick head of the vibrator is enough to make him groan loudly, and he barely registers Kurt's whine or his hands being replaced with Kurt's own to maneuver the ridiculously thick, long dildo inside of him. He's gasping and panting the entire time that Kurt presses it in, and by the time the fake balls reach his hole, he's completely out of breath and sweating uncontrollably. And somehow, through some outrageous miracle, he's getting hard.

Kurt doesn't even bother pretending that either of them want him to hold back, and immediately starts thrusting it in and out of Blaine's ass, flicking the speed up a notch. Blaine's scream is ripped out of his throat as Kurt keeps up a consistent speed, but manages to change the angle almost every time the toy slams into him. The combination of the unpredictability, the roughness of Kurt's thrusts, the strong vibration when Kurt turns it up to the second to last notch and the near impossible size of the toy, as well as the fact that Kurt's other hand has moved to stroke Blaine's dick at a rapid pace causes Blaine to forfeit any attempt at staying quiet.

He's lost complete control of the situation, his body squirming and thrusting of it's own accord, his dick throbbing painfully at the overstimulation coupled with his immense need to come—for the _third_ time, he reminds himself. He's never felt so much pleasure before, and as he nears his orgasm, his brain can only think of one thing, the last thing he remembers hearing, and it's that that he somehow shouts out, not even knowing what he's saying or why he's saying it, only understanding his unbelievable need for release.

"Oh, _god_, BILLIE!" Blaine comes so hard that he thinks he passed out, only to open his eyes and realizes that he's still conscious, just shaking and moaning and unable to stop any of it. He feels the vibrator pulled harshly out of his ass, feels Kurt's hands leave him too quickly, and he wants to reach out, wants to pull them back in, but he can barely move a muscle. It isn't until he seems Kurt heading for the door that he manages to pull himself together.

"Ku—Kurt, where are you going?" he croaks out, his voice hoarse from yelling. He swallows a few times to try and regain some composure, but he doubts it works.

"Did you hear yourself? God, Blaine, I can't even believe it. You _know_how much it means to me to…to think that I'm the only one, to think I'm the one you want to be with, the one you share your bed with, the _only_ one you lo—never mind. It's not your fault, this is your _job_. I should know better than to be so foolish. So goodbye, Blaine, and I hope you enjoy _Billie_. I left him there for you. I'm sure you two will be very happy together."

Blaine doesn't have any idea what to say, and it isn't until Kurt has slammed the door and is well on his way out of the house that Blaine realizes it wasn't his name that he shouted when he came.

"_Fuck_."

* * *

Blaine is laying back on his bed, tossing a hacky sack up in the air and catching it, bored out of his mind, when Sebastian comes in.

"Bas, I'm not in the mood. And would you put some fucking clothes on please? Not everyone loves seeing you naked."

"Okay, I'm going to assume you said that out of anger and misery because of your little fight with Kurt last week, because I _know_ that's not true. Literally everyone loves to see this body, including you, so don't even try to pull that shit." Sebastian winks at him and sits down on the bed, pulling a more serious face when Blaine sits up and chucks the hacky sack at the wall.

"What do you want? I'm busy," Blaine mumbles, looking away from Sebastian.

"He's here to see you. He's been sitting downstairs for like, an hour, debating about whether or not to come up here. He's clearly upset, and I think you should talk to him." Blaine finally meets Sebastian's gaze, and is startled by the sincerity he finds there.

"Fine. But I'm not doing it for you, or for him. I'm doing it for…closure and all that shit, or whatever." Sebastian smirks and slaps Blaine's ass when he gets up.

"Whatever you say, short stop. Be here when you get back, maybe I can cheer you up with my dick!"

Blaine ignores him as he mentally preps himself on the way downstairs. He hasn't seen Kurt since last week, when he left. Blaine threw "Billie" into the bottom drawer of his dresser, refusing to put it anywhere he might be able to see it, but the sickening smell of cherry hasn't left his room. It keeps him up at night, wishing he could see Kurt, hold him and tell him he didn't mean it. But _Kurt's_ the one who walked out on him. He wouldn't just throw himself at Kurt's feet and beg for forgiveness. He isn't the only one in the wrong here.

He reaches the bottom of the staircase and doesn't have to wait long for Kurt to appear. He's standing right there, just feet away from Blaine, and suddenly, only inches away. They're face to face, and neither of them seem to know what to say.

"I'm sorry," they breathe out at the same time. They chuckle, and Blaine smiles up at Kurt.

"Kurt, I—"

"No, me first. I was totally unfair to you. I just…I got jealous, which is ridiculous, because it's not like we're _together_ or anything, I mean, you're a prostitute for heaven's sake, not—not that that's a bad thing! But it obviously means you're not _mine_ and so I don't have any right to be…mad, or jealous, that you called out another name, it's just…it should've been me. And I _want_ it to be me, every time. I never should've named the damn thing, I mean this is clearly all my fault, and I just—"

"_Kurt_. As adorable as your rambling is, I just…let me just. Talk. For a minute. One of the first things they teach us is that the customer is always right. So. Even though you named the vibrator, or whatever, I shouldn't have gotten so caught up in the moment that I forgot who it was I was with. I mean, how unprofessional and _ridiculous_ is that?"

"Blaine…I named a _vibrator_ and then got _jealous_ of it. I think I'm the ridiculous one here."

"You made me come twice and then as I was coming a third time I shouted the name of that vibrator."

And suddenly, both of them are laughing so hard that they're crying. They clutch at each other, hugging, hysterical and so, so glad they made up. As they manage to get themselves together, Kurt cups Blaine's face and kisses him breathless. They pull apart, eye contact never broken, smiles stretching insanely wide on their faces.

"I have another surprise for you," Kurt whispers in the mingled air between their lips.

"I hope it involves as many orgasms as the last one, minus the stupid fight," Blaine replies, their grins actually growing.

"It's even better, actually. I paid off Will…you're mine. Only I can come to you now. You still live here, at least until you're ready to leave, but he said that as long as I keep the cash flowing, you won't be getting any more customers." Kurt's smile softens, and Blaine's lips part in shock. Kurt's smile fades at the reaction, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion and then sorrow.

"Oh…unless…unless that isn't what you wanted. I…I didn't even think about it, I just did it, oh, my god I can't do _anything_ right I—"

Blaine cuts him off with a hungry kiss, sealing his lips over Kurt's and backing him into a wall. They make out until they literally can't breathe anymore, and Blaine rests his forehead against Kurt's when they break away.

"Yours," he whispers. They both smile again, unable to take their eyes off each other. Kurt leans in to press a kiss to Blaine's nose.

"Mine."

* * *

This one was kinda cracky but that was sort of my intention so...yeah.


	7. Ruin

Ruin

Summary:

This is the end of us

And everything you said we'd be

And all the love I bring

I will be taking home with me

Rating: T

Warnings: none

Song: /watch?v=fhfcdDmwDHw&feature=relmfu

* * *

It started off slow.

Later, Blaine will say that the catalyst was Sebastian. Kurt would disagree, if only because he's too proud to admit that Sebastian got to him that much.

But they all know better.

Sebastian didn't do anything, per say. In fact, when he first showed up, Blaine constantly complained about how he couldn't hang out with the Warblers without Sebastian hitting on him and making him uncomfortable. Kurt made fun of Sebastian's nearly stalker status. Everything was fine.

Then came the run in at the Lima Bean, where Sebastian, while boasting about the Warblers doing Michael Jackson songs for Regionals, let slip that he and Blaine had been talking. Kurt tried not to let it bother him—he trusted Blaine, and knew he would never cheat. Besides, Blaine kept swearing that Sebastian had backed off, and just wanted to be friends. But soon, Blaine and Sebastian were texting all the time, had inside jokes, were hanging out just the two of them—Kurt couldn't help but feel a little left behind.

Blaine wasn't necessarily spending any less time with Kurt, but a distance began to form. They kissed less, they made love less. Eventually, any sex they did have was quick, rough and dirty. Blaine would smile and clean up afterwards, cuddling next to Kurt when he crawled back into bed. Kurt would kiss him on the forehead and try not to cry at how cheap it all felt.

Blaine remained oblivious as always, which only upset Kurt more. Sebastian wasn't even in the picture anymore—he went back to France about halfway through the year after being kicked out of Dalton for drinking and sneaking boys in for "inappropriate dorm room behavior". But the wedge only drove itself further between Kurt and Blaine, and neither of them knew how to stop it.

They fought more often, which led to Blaine pulling away, which led to Kurt trying to spend more time with him in a desperate attempt to cling to whatever they had left. If Kurt didn't get to Glee before Blaine, the latter never had an empty seat next to him. If Kurt managed to get there first, he made sure to save a seat every time, and Blaine would give him a tense smile and sit down, linking their hands together when Kurt would stare at the floor.

There were no sentimental serenades or passionate performances to each other anymore. Both of they steered clear of any love songs, be they tender and gentle or angry and regretful. They stuck close to songs about friendship, never performing alone and avoiding each other's eyes so as not to appear to be singing to one another.

Eventually, Kurt tried not to be clingy, starting to keep away from Blaine. At first, Blaine hated it, and apologized, attempting to recreate some of their better moments. When it became clear that that wasn't going to work, he started keeping away from Kurt too.

Sex was all they had left. There was no more lovemaking, not even any semblance of it—it was just pure, primal fucking. It was all a show of intimacy, Blaine riding Kurt hard while Kurt lay there, thrusting up and gripping Blaine's hips to hold him steady. They tried to be done with it fast, but often times it would take one of them longer to finish, and they would take care of themselves while the other looked away. Blaine would even go so far as to finger himself so that Kurt didn't have to.

Kurt withdrew from Glee and his friends, causing Blaine to overcompensate with cheeriness and enthusiasm. Eventually, that began to wear on him and he too seemed to fold in on himself.

Everyone was worried, about both of them, but no one knew what to do. Rachel wanted to fix things, but Finn miraculously managed to convince her that it would just make things worse if she meddled. The group tried talking to each of them individually, and while neither of them denied that the relationship had gone sour, they still both refused to give it up. At even the slightest hint of a suggestion that they should maybe just break up from Mercedes, Blaine broke down crying and Kurt pulled him close, viciously glaring at her for even mentioning it.

It made no sense to anyone, least of all Kurt and Blaine. If they were both so miserable, so disconnected from each other, why were they so invested in forcing the relationship to continue? It was hurting them both so much, but they clung to the last strings they had, knowing that to say goodbye would hurt the worst of all. Neither of them felt they could even survive it. So they didn't let go.

It all blew up one night, when Blaine had come over to Kurt's empty house (Finn out on a date with Rachel and Burt and Carole away in DC). They fucked, Kurt coming first and pushing Blaine off him as the latter stroked himself rough and fast to finish. Kurt locked himself in the bathroom before Blaine even came. When he let himself out, he found Blaine shaking and crying on the bed.

"God, Blaine, what's wrong? I—" Kurt was immediately by his side, only to be shoved away. "What the _fuck_, Blaine?!"

"What is this? What are we even doing, Kurt?" Blaine finally met Kurt's eyes, his red, overflowing ones meeting the bright blue ones with such intensity that Kurt couldn't even stand up from where he'd fallen onto the floor. "We fuck and we don't talk and we don't touch and I barely even feel anything anymore, and I still love you so much, but I hate _this_ and I hate _us_ for letting it get this bad, and I don't know what to do and I just don't understand what we're _doing_."

Kurt looked away before forcing himself to look back at those pained, gorgeous eyes. He breathed out, shakily, and even more unsteadily got to his feet before sitting gingerly next to Blaine. When he was sure he wouldn't be pushed off the bed again, he talked.

"I don't…know. I thought we were working at it. Isn't that what they always say? If a relationship is rocky, you have to work at it…love isn't always going to be enough."

"How the fuck is this working at it? Can you recall one time when we sat down and had an actual conversation about how either of us felt—" Blaine stood up and began pacing back and forth, ignoring the hand Kurt reached out and refusing to acknowledge his near desperation for eye contact. "—or what we wanted, or how quickly our entire relationship fucking crumbled before our eyes as we watched on? That's not _working on it_ Kurt, that's self destructive, and I…I think I'm done."

"That's not…Blaine, look, please, look at me, I know you're upset. You're…angry, and frustrated, and I get it, I do, but please, we need to just…stop and _think_for a minute before just…giving up on—" Kurt was crying now too, but Blaine plowed on.

"No, Kurt! You don't fucking get it! I'm not giving up on us, because there is no _us_ left. We've destroyed ourselves, we let this happen, and now we can't even try to put it back together, because I don't know about you, but I think that trying to glue this fuck up of a relationship back together would kill me more than ending it ever would. I just…I'm done, Kurt, and I don't know what that means moving ahead, if we can ever be friends or…or what, but I can't keep going like this. And I don't think you can either."

Kurt was stunned into silence, his soft crying and Blaine's heaving sobs the only sounds in the room.

"M-maybe if we just, just tried to…god, Blaine, please don't do this, I don't know what to do without you, I can't—I can't fucking believe this, I love you so_much_—"

"Maybe love isn't fucking enough, anymore!"

Blaine's scream echoed and ricocheted around the room, around Kurt's head and wrapped itself around his neck, squeezing the life and love out of him. Even as Blaine curled against him, kissing his neck and soaking his skin with tears, whispering desperate please to _forgive me, Kurt, I just don't know what to do, you're right, but please, I could never say goodbye to you, I know this hurts but please, I think we just need to stop this, before either of us gets any more destroyed by it, please don't hate me, Kurt, I couldn't bear it if you hated me_, Kurt's soul felt like it was bleeding out of him, leaving a hollow shell behind to be filled and fixed up with new stuffing.

Blaine left at some point, and while they, of course, see each other again, there is never another word spoken between them. There is never any closure, they never get the chance to return each other's hearts, and so they both hold that with them as they part ways off to college, off to grad school, off to jobs and marriage and children and new lives completely separate from the love they knew in high school.

They never did say goodbye, in the end.


	8. Three Wishes

Three Wishes

Summary:

We'd be so less fragile

If we're made from metal

And our hearts from iron

And our minds from steel

And if we built an army

For our tender bodies

Could we love each other?

Would we stop to feel?

Rating: T

Warnings: none

Song: /watch?v=8U4ETW2fqL4&feature=relmfu

* * *

Kurt and Blaine sit on Kurt's bed, facing each other.

"Trust me Kurt, it's the coolest trick you'll ever see," Blaine says, grinning. "Seriously, just take the quarter."

Kurt sighs and rolls his eyes at Blaine, but gives in. He takes the coin from between Blaine's fingers and places it heads up on his palm.

"Okay," Blaine says, reaching out to hold Kurt's thumb in one hand and his pinky in the other. "I'm going to close my eyes, but you have to keep yours open. I want you to count to one hundred, got it?"

Kurt gave him an odd look, but Blaine just ignored him and shut his eyes. As Kurt begins to count, Blaine rubs Kurt's thumb and pinky with his fingers. When Kurt reaches fifty, Blaine slowly closes Kurt's fingers into a fist, finger by finger until only his thumb is sticking out. He continues to rub Kurt's thumb. When Kurt reaches eighty, Blaine curls his thumb in as well, and holds his now complete fist with both hands, running his thumbs over Kurt's knuckles. When Kurt reaches ninety-five, Blaine opens his eyes and turns Kurt's fist to face down.

"Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred," Kurt breathes out.

"Do you still feel the quarter there?" Blaine asks, staring into Kurt's eyes.

"Yeah," Kurt whispers, his own eyes soaking in the hazel staring back.

"Open your hand, Kurt."

He does.

No coin falls out.

Before Kurt gets a chance to react, the door to his room opens, and both of their heads turn to look.

"Kurt, what are you doing?"

It's the nurse. Kurt turns back to Blaine with an apologetic smile. Blaine returns it. They won't get to hang out anymore for now.

"Blaine was just showing me some cool tricks. Wanna see?" Kurt answers, turning back to the nurse.

She sighs and opens her mouth to say something, but seems to think better of it.

"No thanks, Kurt. I'm not in the mood for Blaine's tricks today," she says tiredly, and Kurt turns back to roll his eyes and grin at Blaine, who smiles at him sadly in return.

"C'mon, Kurt," the nurse says after watching this exchange. "It's time for your meds."

"Okay," Kurt says, moving off the bed. The nurse steps back out into the hallway to give him room to get out. He turns back once he's reached the door.

"See you later, Blaine," he says.

"Later, Kurt."

Kurt follows the nurse to the nurses' station, and swallows his pills when she hands them to him. He knows he won't get to see Blaine again until later, but he thinks that's okay, because he has arts and crafts now, and Kurt can make Blaine another present. Blaine loves it when Kurt makes him things, especially out of pipe cleaners.

Kurt spends the entire hour with the box of pipe cleaners in front of him, and by the time arts and crafts is over, he's made an entire bouquet of flowers. He smiles at his work. The flowers are blue and purple, Blaine's favorite colors, and Kurt can't wait to show them to him.

He tries not to shove his dinner down, taking smaller bites so as not to seem too eager, but he just wants the meal to be over already. He wants to go back to his room to give Blaine his gift.

Dinner finally comes to a close and Kurt waits impatiently for his nighttime meds. When the nurse finally gets to him, he has to stop himself from grabbing the little cup of pills from her hand.

She gives him the cup and he notices it's a little heavier than usual. He glances up at the nurse and she gives him a cautious, warm smile.

"They want to try a higher dosage, Kurt," she says, resting her hand on his shoulder. "They don't think the meds are working as well as they should be. It's just a trial run to see if it makes a difference."

Kurt shrugs as he throws back the pills and chases them down with the water she hands him. He doesn't care how many they make him take as long as he can get back to his room to see Blaine once more before he goes to sleep.

"Can I go now?" he asks, trying not to be rude.

The nurse gives him a searching look before smiling and nodding once.

Kurt all but runs to his room and takes a second to catch his breath before pushing his door open.

"Blaine?" Kurt says, smiling and looking around.

But Blaine's not there.

Kurt's smile fades slightly. He knows this happens sometimes, Blaine going away. It happened the last time they increased his meds too, but Blaine found his way back eventually.

He walks over to his bed and flops down. He feels something under his head on the pillow. He reaches behind to grab it and pulls it in from of his face. It's a quarter, heads up.

Kurt grins and places the coin on his bedside table. He pulls out Blaine's pipe cleaner flowers from his pocket and opens the bottom drawer. He places them inside; they blend in with the many other presents he's made for Blaine.

_He's going to love them_, Kurt thinks as he settles in to fall asleep.

* * *

I take complete artistic license on any and all medical/mental illness references in this story and understand that they were probably not represented accurately. Please do not yell at me for that. If it bothers you, don't come back and read this again, or message me privately and explain to me what I portrayed incorrectly and I'll think about altering it.


	9. The Power of

The Power of...

Summary:

Now we can watch it fall

'Cause they built it up too tall

Now I'm sinking lower than

All my tears

Sinking lower than

All your fears

Rating: T

Warnings: Bullying

Song: /watch?v=NRCBzxSM1qs

* * *

Kurt's at his locker when _he_ walks into the school. Blaine Anderson, the resident gay kid at McKinley. Kurt watches as he struts in proudly, smiling and whistling to himself, completely unaware of the weird looks his hot red pants are getting.

Kurt has always been a little envious. He's never talked to Blaine before, but he watches from afar. Blaine is just so _carefree_ about it all. He must get beaten up at least once a week, but he doesn't let it phase it. Or at least, he doesn't show it if it does.

Kurt knows better, though. He's learned the hard way that it's just easier to hide who he truly is. Blaine only transferred to McKinley this year and hasn't learned the rules yet.

Kurt cringes when he sees three football players heading down the hallway towards Blaine. _Here we go._

The football players stop Blaine and circle around him.

"Hey Curly," Azimio spits out, smirking. "How's it goin'?"

"It's going well, fellas, thanks for asking," Blaine answers. Kurt, having never actually witnessed an interaction between the football team and the resident gay pride one man parade, is astounded at Blaine's chipper attitude when being circled by lions.

"We don't actually care," another one says. Jensen, Kurt thinks is his name.

"Ah," Blaine says, frowning though his eyes twinkle. "And here I thought we were having a friendly chat."

"We aren't _friendly_ with fairies, Curly. But we do have a present for you, since you love being so…how shall we say…_colorful_," Azimio sneers, and as if that was some previously determined signal, they all whip out slushies from behind their backs and dump them on Blaine's head.

Kurt flinches and groans in sympathy, well acquainted with the horrible chill of a slushy (and he's been spared for a while now, and never has there been more than one). He watches the football players walk away, high fiving each other and other observers.

Kurt turns back to Blaine and sees the boy smiling softly to himself as he pulls a towel out of his bag—which fortunately had been missed by the slushies—wetting it in a water fountain, then wiping it across his face and hair. He then goes over to his own locker (how has Kurt never noticed that their lockers are in the same hallway?) and checks his hair in a mirror, pulling out a small bottle of hair gel to fix it up a bit.

Kurt watches this whole process in awe. Blaine doesn't even try to clean up the sticky mess of slushy on his once crisp white button down.

After seemingly determining that he looks alright, Blaine closes his locker and turns to continue down the hallway to class. He catches Kurt gaping when he's about to pass by him, and the countertenor quickly looks away, not wanting to get caught looking at Blaine. He misses the curious smile Blaine gives him in response.

The next day, it happens all over again. Blaine makes his way towards his locker, is stopped by some football players (there are four this time), they exchange some banter—witty on Blaine's part, stupid on the Neanderthals' part—and they all slushy him at once.

Kurt tries not to rush to his side, even though he wants nothing more than to help this poor boy who is, unfortunately, a lot like him. But Kurt would never admit that.

Blaine, once again, doesn't seem to mind it, and goes through his tidying up routine at his locker. Kurt watches the process again, and decides to take a little pity on him; there aren't that many people left in the hallway to see, anyway.

Kurt steels himself, then takes a deep breath and pulls a shirt out of his locker. He always has an extra, just in case the bullies get bored. It's a silly precaution seeing as he hasn't been slushied in over a year, but he never knows what might happen.

"Here," he says, making his way over to Blaine who's wiping the goo from his ears.

Blaine turns in surprise to face him, glances down at the shirt, and then breaks out in a huge grin.

"Thanks, but I won't be needing that," he says, gently pushing the shirt and Kurt's hands away.

"But, you're covered," Kurt says, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "Doesn't that get kind of seriously uncomfortable?"

Blaine shrugs, still shining his megawatt smile at Kurt.

"Yeah, but I've gotten used to it," he replies. "It's worth it to show them just how much I don't care."

The second bell rings, indicating that class has started.

"Crap, I have to go. See you around, Kurt," Blaine says, grinning one last time before rushing down the hall, leaving a tiny trail of slushy behind him.

Kurt spends his free period reading the same line of his book over and over, drowning in a sea of thoughts, all about Blaine. It isn't until then that he realizes he has no idea how Blaine knows his name.

Three days pass without another slushy incident. Blaine smiles and waves at him now whenever they see each other, and Kurt usually gives a tentative smile back, but only if he's sure it won't draw attention.

Kurt knows it hasn't ended. This is just the eye of the hurricane. But he still goes home that weekend happy that Blaine wasn't attacked almost all week. And maybe there's an inkling of hope in the back of his mind that they really have given up on Blaine, just like they gave up on him.

Kurt spends both Saturday and Sunday gaining more and more confidence. He convinces himself that, since it's been days since Blaine was last slushied, maybe it wouldn't be so terrible to talk to the boy. Kurt would still be careful about it, but he just _has_ to talk to Blaine. He intrigues Kurt, and it feels as if there's some magnetic pull forcing them closer. Kurt ignores the fact that this pull is very obviously something he has spent years hiding from everyone.

On Monday, Kurt sees Blaine walk into school, wearing black skinny jeans, a tight blue plaid shirt, and black suspenders.

Kurt tries not to think about how good the outfit looks on him, instead working up the nerve to step in next to Blaine and walk with the curly-haired cutie (cutie? Where the hell did _that_ come from?). Just as he's shaking off his nerves and gearing up to do it, he spots them. Five football players, Azimio and Jensen leading the pack. All of them are holding a slushy—in each hand.

There are no taunts this time. No insults thrown in Blaine's face. It's as if it all happens in slow motion. Blaine barely has time to react before ten slushies are hurled on his body, covering every inch of him.

The shock and sheer force of it all brings him to the floor, shivering and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Not so cheery now, are you _Curly_?" Azimio sneers, the rest of the guys laughing malevolently.

Blaine doesn't respond, just sits there shivering in a puddle of slush. The tormentors back away.

"Let's home this time the lesson…shall we say, sticks, alright, Curly?" With one last glare, they turn the corner and leave.

Kurt is snapped out of his shocked reverie when the bell rings, and the hall clears out, students pointing and snickering behind their hands as they walk by Blaine.

Blaine, who has yet to open his eyes. Blaine, who's lips are turning blue from the cold of the slushies. Blaine, the poor, gay boy who Kurt knows he has to help.

Closing his locker and forgetting about class, Kurt rushed to Blaine's side.

"Blaine," he says, kneeling down beside the shaking mess of a boy. "Blaine?"

Kurt reaches under Blaine's chin to lift his face, only to find that he has finally opened his eyes. His shaking isn't only from the cold—Blaine is crying softly and avoiding Kurt's searching gaze. Kurt feels his heart lurch at the sight.

"C'mon," Kurt says gently, tugging on Blaine's arm to pull him up. The now sobbing boy doesn't protest as Kurt pulls him to his feet and slides their hands together, leading Blaine into the closest bathroom.

He doesn't say anything as he leans Blaine against the wall, still holding his hand. He reaches over to pull some paper towels out of the dispenser, then runs them under the nearest faucet.

He wipes the wet cloth across Blaine's face, getting as much of it out of his eyes as he can. He tries to hold back his own tears when he uncovers the redness that the slushy had been hiding. _Guess it was only a matter of time before they broke him_ he thinks sadly to himself, wetting a new towel and running it through Blaine's hair, clearing out the slushy that is dripping into his ears.

After about fifteen minutes of meticulously wetting paper towels and gently washing the slushy off of Blaine, Kurt looks back into the boy's eyes.

He doesn't know what he expected to find, but the lost, scared, hopeless eyes he sees break his heart. He distracts himself by continuing his clean up.

When he tugs at the bottom of Blaine's shirt, the boy whimpers in protest, but Kurt just shushes him softly and helps him out of the soaked fabric. Kurt's breath hitches at the sight of Blaine's chest, but now is not the time to ogle the boy. In fact, it is never the time for him to ogle to boy; that's not what he's here for.

He cleans off Blaine's chest, making sure the water from the faucet is warm this time, then points down to Blaine's pants, letting him take those off himself. Kurt respectfully looks away, but knows he'll have to return his gaze to the nearly naked boy if he wants to keep helping him.

He sucks it up and turns back around, trying not to moan at the sight of Blaine in only his boxer-briefs. His head is down, as if he's ashamed that this is what it all has come to. Kurt lifts his head up with two fingers under his chin and gives him a smile.

"I know it seems ridiculous to say this, at all, but it's going to be okay," he tells him, even though he's not sure he believes it himself. Something seems to resonate in Blaine though, being that these are the first words either of them has spoken in the bathroom, and reaches over to wet some paper towels himself to wipe off his legs.

Thankfully, his underwear managed to be almost completely missed, and Blaine could still wear them comfortably. Kurt pulls out a shirt and spare pants from his bag. They'll be a little long on Blaine, but he's pretty sure their waist sizes are similar enough that they'll fit the smaller boy comfortably.

Blaine wipes himself down with some dry paper towels and quickly gets dressed in Kurt's clothes. He's stopped crying by now, and once he's dressed, they stand there in comfortable silence, Kurt observing Blaine and Blaine shyly avoiding his gaze. What a change in perspective.

"Well…it's almost time for our next class," Kurt says, breaking through whatever had been going on for the past five minutes. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah," Blaine says, his voice somewhat wobbly, but mostly confident. "It's a...minor setback, but I'll ah, get back up on my feet eventually. It helps to know I've got a friend." He gives Kurt that megawatt smile again, the one that makes his knees shake a little.

"Right," Kurt says. He isn't sure if he'd classify them as friends just yet, but it's definitely a step in the right direction. He doesn't think he'd mind being Blaine's friend so much. "Yeah."

The bell rings and they both giggle a bit, moving to exit the bathroom. Blaine stops him with a hand on his arm before they part ways.

"Thank you, Kurt," he says sincerely, and Kurt's heart lurches forward. All he wants is to kiss Blaine in that moment, but seeing as he's done a ridiculously good job hiding who he is, he can't. it would blow the cover he so carefully crafted. He ops for a tight hand squeeze and a smile instead.

"Anytime. Seriously," Kurt says. Blaine beams at him, and holds the bathroom door open to let Kurt pass. They glance shyly at each other before heading in opposite directions.

_Who knows,_ Kurt thinks. _Maybe we could be friends after all_.


	10. Kill! Kill! Kill!

Kill! Kill! Kill!

Summary:

What were you doing in my dream last night, honey?

Well I thought I locked that door up tight, baby

Well it's a mystery to me

How you keep on slipping

In my mind

And it's downright dirty that this old wound

Won't heal with time

Rating: M (rating is for one scene right at the beginning with sexual content)

Warnings: none

Song: /watch?v=2MKOoe_hqhM

* * *

He feels hot. He feels hot all over, but he can't do anything about it. He's already removed all his clothes, trying to relieve some of the heat, and his blankets are kicked off his bed, but even the cool sheets and slight breeze coming in from the window aren't helping.

There's also something wet around his cock. Something wet, and warm, and wonderful. He looks down and sees a head bobbing between his legs and registers that something as a mouth. And _oh_, does that mouth feel good. He never wants it to stop, but he can feel his stomach clenching, and knows the end is near. He slams his head back and squeezes his eyes shut as he comes hard down the mouth's throat, shaking almost violently and panting heavily to catch his breath.

When he looks down, there are bright grey-blue eyes staring back at him, and that heavenly mouth is smiling and whispering secrets, lost in between his lips.

He wakes up, his dick throbbing and painfully hard, sweat staining his sheets as they stick a little to his naked back.

He wonders what the mouth had been whispering.

* * *

_Regrets collect like old friends_

Here to relive your darkest moments

I can see no way, I can see no way

_And all of the ghouls come out to play_

"KURT!"

_And every demon wants his pound of flesh_

But I like to keep some things to myself

I like to keep my issues drawn

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

"KURT!"

Kurt ignores the shout of his name, turning up the volume on his iPod dock. He'll come down when he's ready.

_And I've been fool and I've been blind_

I can never leave the past behind

_I can see no way, I can see no way_

He finishes buttoning his shirt, smoothing it down while looking in the mirror.

"Impeccable," he whispers to himself. His eyes slide up to the chain around his neck, and the ring that dangles from it. His hand reaches up to clutch it. He wills himself not to cry, pinching himself on the arm to remain calm.

* * *

Lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, he pulls at the chain around his neck, thumbing the ring that hangs from it. He stopped asking about it a long time ago, since the only answer he ever got was "you have to remember for yourself". And what kind of bullshit is that, anyway? They're supposed to be here to help him. Maybe the ring is the key to everything. Maybe knowing whom it came from, knowing what significance it held…maybe that would be the push he needed.

He sighs and forces himself to stop thinking about it. No one but his own stupid, damaged mind can give him the answers.

* * *

Steadying his breath, Kurt tucks the chain under his shirt, causing it and the ring to be hidden. He ignores the voice in his head that tells him to pull it back out, to take it off the chain and slip in back on his finger. This time, he shuts that voice out, telling himself it's finally going to be for good.

_I'm always dragging that horse around_

All of his questions, such a mournful sound

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground

'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

Kurt turns away from the mirror, trying and failing not to move to his bookcase and take the picture frame in his hands. His fingers delicately trace their faces, his thumb pressing over where their lips touch, his lips shifting down to kiss the glass, right where their hands are linked. He forces himself to put the frame back, and on a whim, he folds it down, the picture now out of sight. Maybe if he can't see it anymore, he can finally heal a little.

_Shake it out, shake it out_

Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out

Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

_So shake him off, oh whoa_

"KURT! COME DOWN HERE!"

He actually doesn't hear him this time. The music is too loud, and Kurt has begun spinning and dancing.

* * *

He has another dream. This one seems to be at a party….a wedding maybe? No, it seems more low-key than that. Perhaps a school dance? He's alone on the dance floor, drowning amongst the giddy sea of slow-dancing couples. He's reaching his hand out, and another hand reaches back, but their fingers only brush for a moment before he loses it again.

He comes into contact a few more times with the hand before finally managing to get a grip, pulling it towards him. A warm body collides with his own, and he presses them close, one arm wrapping around the slim waist, the other still clutching the hand.

They sway along with the crowd for a moment before he takes the lead, spinning them around leisurely, gradually picking up speed, until they're the only two left in the room. They twirl, laughing, until their bodies lift from the ground and they take off through the roof, through the sky, and into the moon.

He wakes up immediately, his entire body tingling with an intense and inexplicable energy.

* * *

_And I am done with my graceless heart_

So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart

'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

As the chorus starts up again, Kurt shifts into rhythmic, perfectly timed twirls, snapping his fingers, his controlled movements a mimic of _his_ dancing, so unlike the shimmies and jazz hands Kurt himself tends to stick to.

* * *

They have him doing community service once a week, and this week is a visit to the elderly home nearby. He's brought to the community room where they're playing some jazz, and he pulls some of the older ladies out to dance with him.

A song comes on that he recognizes, though he can't quite remember why. He can't quite remember a lot of things; some memories are always just out of reach, at the tip of his brain, teasing his mind, but he's never able to coax them out.

It was definitely from a musical, that much he could determine. And it was kind of flashy, in a way that made him believe he had seen it performed in some bright, bold way.

The woman he was dancing with knew all the words, and she pulled him in close right as the singer finished belting out the final note to whisper the last line along with the track:

"_Le Jazz Hot_."

* * *

_And it's hard to dance with the devil on your back_

And given half the chance, would I take any of it back

As the music swells, Kurt's body begins moving of it's own accord, his arms rising in the air as he continues to spin. He feels a huge smile stretch across his face, genuine for the first time in what feels like an eternity.

It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone

_It's always darkest before the dawn_

Absorbed in the music, Kurt doesn't notice the knocking on his door. His movements do slow, however, due to a need to breathe and because he's begun hysterically giggling to himself. He hasn't felt this free in a long time. It feels like redemption and betrayal all at once, but he lets it go and finally collapses on the floor, grinning up at the ceiling.

_And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't_

So here's to drinks in the dark, at the end of my rope

And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope

_It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat_

The steel hand that's been gripping his heart for months now has finally loosened. It's happened before, bit by bit, but he thinks that maybe this time it's for real. His chest feels lighter, the ache beginning to slip away; not entirely gone yet, but certainly making it's way there. He feels ready.

_'Cause looking for heaven, for the devil in me_

Looking for heaven, for the devil in me

_But what the hell, I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah_

"Shit, Kurt." Burt stands in the door, finally having given up on trying to get Kurt's attention and just coming in.

_Shake it out, shake it out_

Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out

Shake it out, shake it out, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back

_So shake him off, oh whoa_

He sighs at the sight of Kurt sprawled on the floor, red-faced and panting, still smiling like an idiot. He side steps over to Kurt's ipod, turning off the music. The abrupt silence is enough to sober Kurt up a bit, and he sits up, refusing to meet Burt's eyes.

Burt holds out a hand, hoisting Kurt up when his son takes it. Kurt gives him a small smile when Burt inspects him, clearly checking to see if he's just had some sort of breakdown. Kurt wants to tell him yes, but doesn't quite know how to explain to his father that he isn't going crazy; he's actually getting better. By the look in Burt's eyes, he most definitely wouldn't understand, especially since he's "gotten better" before, only to fall back into a pit of longing and despair. But not this time, Kurt thinks. This time, he's going to pull himself all the way out. Kurt Hummel is nothing if not determined.

Burt finally stops searching Kurt's face and lets go of his hand, turning away and starting out the door. When he gets to it, he turns back to Kurt.

"Better come down, bud. Your date is here."

* * *

Words, words, words. That's all he has left. Journals, letters, full of sentences he doesn't remember writing or reading, names he can't put faces to, jokes that tease the block in his mind. He sits back, sighing frustrated, only to look up and see his nurse eyeing him disapprovingly. He sticks his tongue out at her when she turns her back, but leans forward again to try and decipher some of (anything, please, one phrase, one friend) the writing.

He gets to a school notebook of his and is flipping through the pages of boring math notes when something catches his eye. He pushes back to the page and stares at it, his eyes trying to make sense of some sort of code language that the page is written in. As he gets closer to the bottom, there's one word, still in the code, that strikes him. A moon symbol, two stars in a row but different colors, and an infinity sign. He grips the notebook as his eyes squeeze shut of their own accord.

_"C'mon, it's fun! Like our own private game," a voice says says, giggling as the boy attached to the voice continues writing down the alphabet._

He watches the long, pale fingers move down the page, showing him the different symbols for each letter.

"And our names are unique. They won't follow this pattern. See, here's mine. A moon for 'K', since I was born on a full moon, a blue star for 'u' and a green star for 'r'…two stars for how big my talent is," the voice says with a smirk, causing him to roll his eyes and lean in to place a kiss on his nose. He's batted away though, the voice continuing on. "And an infinity sign for 't', because no matter what, I will never be brought down."

His grin widens, and he leans in for a kiss, which the boy allows, smiling shyly when they separate. He stares at him for a bit longer before settling back again.

_"So what about my name?"_

He gasps as he comes back to himself, his hands trembling and his nurse kneeling beside him, holding a cool compress against his forehead. His head spins with confusion as he takes in his surroundings; how did he get on the floor?

"His eyes are open!" He hears her saying to someone else, before turning back to him. "Sweetie, talk to me! What happened, are you alright?" All he can do is blink at her and accept the cup of water being thrust into his hand. After a long sip, he finally finds his voice.

"Who's Kurt?"

* * *

"Hey, Kurt!"

Kurt reaches the bottom of the stairs and is greeted by his date's eager face, and a daisy being held out for him to take.

"Hey, Marcus. Um, thank you," he says as he plucks the daisy from Marcus' hand, tucking it into his shirt's front pocket. Luckily it matched his outfit.

"So, shall we get going?" Marcus holds out his hand for Kurt to take. Kurt stares at it for probably a second too long before accepting it and being led outside to Marcus' car. Fortunately, his date doesn't go as far as opening the car door for him, and they both get in in silence.

Neither of them talks during the drive, opting to let the radio fill the air. It's not uncomfortable, and Kurt is grateful for the chance to prep himself for an entire meal with this boy. He knows he's ready, or at least he thinks he is (desperately hopes that this time he is), but he doesn't want to give Marcus any reasons to doubt him.

* * *

He's sitting in the dining hall, eating his lunch, when the paitent sitting across from him accidentally spills her water all over the table. It drips off the side and onto his lap, and he's struck with the image of a soft, pale hand dabbing at his pants awkwardly and a sweet, high voice muttering apologizes while he chuckles and bats the hand away, assuring the voice that it's okay and not to be embarrassed.

Confused, he shakes the thought out of his head, and after he finishes drying himself off, he skips the rest of lunch and takes a nap, hoping to sleep off the strange sensation that the memory had been an important one.

* * *

They arrive at the restaurant, a very small Italian place right outside of Lima. Marcus takes his hand again as they walk in, and Kurt looks at him apprehensively.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to…never mind," Marcus mumbles as he drops Kurt's hand. Kurt sighs and grabs his hand back.

"Trust me, it's not because I don't want to hold your hand," Kurt says, giving Marcus' hand a squeeze and getting a broad smile in return. "I'm just always a little worried about…being so publicly affectionate. You know, Ohio conservatives and all." Marcus looks at him slightly taken aback.

"I never took you as one to hide, Mr. Hummel," Marcus says with a smirk.

Kurt knows he doesn't mean anything by it, but it doesn't stop the rush of heartache from crashing over Kurt at his words. Because Kurt _is_ one to hide, at least after what happened. Watching _him_ get beat to a pulp, just for being with Kurt, watching that bat come into contact with his head, knocking out all the memories of their time together, their love and their plans and their devotion, gone with just one swing of that bat…that had been enough to make Kurt want to hide forever.

Kurt gives him a tight-lipped smile before responding.

"Well, people change, I guess. I've just…become more cautious with my pride. As out as I am, Ohio can be a scary place."

Marcus, seemingly realizing his mistake, looks at the ground a bit shamefully and squeezes Kurt's hand hard, holding the door open for him when they get to the front of the restaurant.

"It's okay," Kurt whispers as he walks in, turning away from his date to greet the Maître d' and put the somewhat uncomfortable moment behind them.

Marcus pulls out his chair for him, and Kurt mentally pats himself on the back for not thinking too much about how _he_ used to do that. He can totally do this whole moving on thing.

After they order, they slip into easy conversation, and Kurt actually finds himself having a good time. He didn't necessarily expect not to enjoy himself, but he just wasn't sure if it was too soon or not, like all the other times he thought he was ready. He's pleasantly surprised that it doesn't feel like it is, and even goes so far as to reach across the table to take Marcus' hand, initiating contact for the first time.

* * *

In this dream, there's a picnic set up in a field, and a pair of long legs stretch out across the blanket. He sets up the food, careful not to touch the pale, smooth, flawless skin. All he wants to do is reach out and hold, touch, _taste_. But all too soon the serenity of the picnic and those legs gives way to his blinds being pulled up and the alarm blaringly signaling breakfast.

* * *

Marcus seems a bit taken aback, but doesn't protest, linking his and Kurt's fingers together. Luckily, they both ordered food that only requires a fork, and they manage to eat without separating their hands. Half way through the meal, they're both laughing and thoroughly enjoying themselves. Kurt barely even thinks about_him_.

Yeah, Kurt is totally rocking the moving on thing.

* * *

"We go together at Dalton. He sang Blackbird and I had an epiphany and I kissed him and he blew my mind and oh, my god, please tell me you're writing this down because I never want to forget it again."

His therapist smiles, gesturing for him to take a sip of water. He's grateful for her reminder, because he often goes entire sessions without drinking any and develops headaches from the hour of talking combined with the dehydration.

"You're making some amazing developments," she says, and he likes that. He likes hearing her say it out loud, that he's making progress, but he also likes that she doesn't sugar coat it for him. He doesn't want to be lied to; he knows he still has a long way to go.

"Dr. Martin…when do you think I'll be ready to go home? See everyone again? You told me my parents moved here with me after the incident, but that they're willing to take me back to Ohio, should I want to go, once I've recovered enough." She sighs, looking at him with apprehensive, yet thoughtful eyes.

"Honestly? At the rate you're going, as long as your memory continues to return normally and steadily, I should say you'd be okay to go back within the end of the month."

The end of the month…that's in two weeks. He almost can't believe it, and has to stop himself from getting too hopeful, but he knows that his mind has worked past the major block, and the doctors all find his memory regains encouraging. He has most of the past two years back, which is most of what he lost.

He thinks of Kurt. Kurt, who is always so determined, so set to achieve anything he sets his mind to. He wants to do this for himself, to prove to himself that he can overcome any battle, but he knows that might not be enough to power him through the next two weeks of memory and mind exercises.

Doing it for himself might not be enough….but doing it for Kurt certainly will be.

* * *

It all falls apart when Marcus tries to kiss him goodnight. And he had been doing _so_ well. But as they stand on Kurt's porch, their hands intertwined, Kurt watches as if from a distance as Marcus leans in, and suddenly, _his_ face invades his vision, and he bursts into tears the second Marcus' lips touch his. He stumbles out his apology, wiping at his face and backing away, wrapping his arms around himself.

Marcus is at a loss. At first, he seems to want to try to comfort Kurt, but doesn't really know how, so he mutters an apology as well before fleeing to his car. Kurt doesn't even watch him pull out. He goes inside, running straight to his room and unconsciously making a beeline for the dresser. He takes the picture frame in his shaking hands, setting it upright again. The happy faces taunt him, but he stares at them anyway, still sobbing and clutching the sides of the frame.

"Why did I ever think I was ready? I'll wait…I'm sorry, god, I am so sorry, I'll wait for you, I don't care how long it takes, I'll wait forever, I just want you—only you."

He falls asleep on the floor in front of the dresser, the picture frame folded in his arms against his chest.

It has become a familiar position, and when Burt finds him the next morning, he isn't even surprised. He simply gently lifts Kurt's head to rest it on a pillow and drapes a blanket over his body.

* * *

Almost four months. To be exact, three months and twenty-seven days. A four hour and fifty-one minute plane ride, a two hour and sixteen minute cab ride, and here he is. Here he is, standing in front of the door of the boy he fell in love with, forgot, and then fell back in love with by remembering bit by bit. He pulls himself together, bringing his hand up and pressing the doorbell.

There are some voices from inside, but it doesn't take too long before the door is swung open, and there stands the most beautiful boy he's ever seen: Kurt. _His_ Kurt. He's worked so hard to get back to him, and here he is. Kurt stands before him, mouth wide in shock even as tears fall freely from his gorgeous eyes. Suddenly, he's smiling, genuine and beautiful and so real it hurts to look at. He feels it, in that moment. This is where he belongs. This is where he always belonged.

"_Blaine_."

* * *

I had a lot of hesitation about making this one a songfic. I felt weird about it, considering it's inspired by one song, and then to have a different song in it, by a different band, felt out of place and unnecessary. But in the end, I went with it, because the song was just too perfect not to include. I hope it worked as well as I wanted it to!

I also take complete artistic license on all medical references in this story, and understand that they are probably not portrayed accurately. I do not know much about amnesia, so I just wrote the story how I wanted it to go. Please, if you have anything to say about it, message me privately and explain, and I will consider altering it.


	11. It Was You

It Was You

Summary:

Where would you go?

And what would you do?

If it wasn't me, it was you

Rating: PG

Warnings: Death

Song: /watch?v=4BIkiDI1fpc

* * *

Blaine pulls his car into a parking spot and cuts the engine. He glances in the rearview mirror and smiles at his sleeping daughter. He gets out of the car and opens the door, reaching in to gently shake her awake.

"It's time to wake up, June bug. We're here," Blaine says softly, kissing the 7-year-old on the forehead as she slowly opens her eyes.

"Time to see Daddy, Papa?" she asks, grabbing at Blaine's hands when he tries to unbuckle her seatbelt to do it herself.

"Yeah, we're gonna go see Daddy," Blaine says, smiling as she hops out of the car as if she hadn't just napped for the entire two hour drive.

He pulls out a bouquet of flowers from the passenger seat, holding them in one hand. Junes reaches up for the other one, and he guides them to the right path.

"Hey, Papa?" June looks up at Blaine, her blue-green eyes shining.

"What's up, June bug?" Blaine asks, squeezing her little hand in his rough one.

"D-do you think Daddy'll like my flowers?" she says, dragging her shoes across the ground as they walk. Blaine's smile falters, but he bites back an almost sob and tightens his grip on her hand.

"He's going to love them, sweetheart," Blaine answers softly, and she beams up at him even as some tears slip from her impossibly wide eyes.

"Good," she says firmly. Blaine chuckles at her resolve, but the amusement doesn't quite loosen the tight string wrapped around his heart.

They make a turn down a new path and don't have to go very far before they see a kneeling woman in a classic black dress, a pink and white headband pulling her dark brown hair away from her face.

"Auntie Rachel!" June shouts, running to her. Rachel's head snaps up, and her tear-streaked face breaks into the biggest smile.

"Hey, June!" she responds, quickly wiping her cheeks with a tissue and sniffling before opening her arms wide to accept the excited girl. "How's my favorite princess?"

"She's good," June giggles, then stops abruptly. "We're not supposed to be happy today," she whispers, glancing back to make sure Blaine hadn't heard her. He hadn't. In fact, he's standing exactly where he had been when June had dropped his hand to greet Rachel, as if frozen to the spot. He watches the two interact as if he's watching a show: an onlooker, someone who's not totally present.

"Papa's been crying all morning. He thought I was asleep but I wasn't. I didn't sleep much last night. I couldn't wait to see Daddy."

June's eyes are brimming with unshed tears and her lips are quivering by the time she finishes speaking. Rachel takes the girl's delicate hands in hers.

"Listen to me, princess," she says. June smiles at the nickname, and Rachel returns it even though her own eyes have begun watering. "You be as happy as you want to see your daddy. Your papa's just…this is very hard for him, but he's trying to stay strong because he knows it's hard for you too. Does that make sense?"

June nods, squeezing Rachel's hands with hers.

"He cries all the time," June whispers conspiratorially. "I think he misses Daddy the most. More than you do, or even me, or even Grandpa."

Rachel's tears spill over at her words, and she pulls the crying girl into another hug.

"I know, princess. I know," she says, kissing her neck and pulling back. She hands June a tissue, and the girl blows her nose messily.

"Can I go see Daddy now?" June asks, hiccupping slightly at the end.

"Of course, June, of course," Rachel says, letting go of one of her hands to lead her to Kurt. June drops Rachel's hand, and the older woman backs away to leave the two alone.

June traces Kurt's name on the stone, then sits Indian style in front of it.

"Hi, Daddy," she says quietly, grinning through her tears. "I miss you. It's been so long…a whole year since you've been gone. Papa says you didn't believe in heaven, but I know you're up there. Papa says that since you shined so bright in life that when you died, you became a star. There's this one star, Daddy, that I can see right outside my bedroom window, and it's so bright. I just know it's you. Do you see me, Daddy? I wave good morning every day when I wake up, and good night before I go to sleep. I can tell you're watching me, Daddy. Like a—like an angel. I like thinking of you like that, up in the sky, a star with pretty, white angel wings. Papa always said you could fly."

June blows her nose again in the tissue Rachel had given her before continuing.

"Some days…sometimes when I wake up, I pretend it's all a dream. I pretend that you're gonna come in my room with your special hot cocoa to wake me up. But then I hear Papa crying…"

She glances back at Blaine, who's still standing there with a vacant expression on his face as he looks on. Rachel is holding his hand, wiping her eyes again.

"…and I know it's just make believe. You're never coming back. I think Papa tricks himself too, sometimes. I think he wakes up and looks for your face next to his, but he never finds it."

She sobs a little, pausing in her speech to reach out and hold the stone, a little hand on either side.

"He cries all the time, Daddy," June says. "He tries real hard to hide it, but I catch him. Sometimes I'll get on his lap and hug him. He always holds on real tight when I do that. But if I don't get there fast enough, he pretends to be fine. He's gotten real good at faking it. I just want him to be happy again—true happy, not fakey happy. Papa needs you, Daddy. I wish you could come back."

She leans in to kiss the stone, right on the part of the engraving that says "Loving father".

"I love you, Daddy," she whispers against it. "Forever and ever."

She stands up and steps back, staring at Kurt's name for a minute. Then she turns around to look at Rachel, who's smiling weakly at her, and Blaine, who looks like he's going to burst.

"I'm done now," June says as she walks up to them. "Daddy and I had a nice talk."

Blaine doesn't respond. Rachel looks searchingly into his eyes, and lets go of his hand before turning back to June.

"Princess, why don't you and I go back to the car for a bit? I think Papa packed you a snack." June doesn't answer her, just gives Blaine one last hard look, then looks back over her shoulder again at Kurt. Finally, she takes Rachel's hand and lets her lead the way back to the car.

Blaine can't move. He's stuck in time and space, and nothing exists outside his own stupid feet and his beautiful husband's headstone, just a few feet away. He wills himself forward, and at some point he must manage it, because the next thing he knows, he's kneeling in front of Kurt's grave, his forehead pressed against the stone, sobbing uncontrollably, the flowers flung carelessly next to him.

He heaves and gulps, trying to regain some composition, or at least enough to talk. He came here to talk to Kurt, and damn it if that's going to be taken from him because of his own incompetency to stop crying.

He can almost hear Kurt's voice reprimanding him for that: _Stop it, Blaine. You're allowed to be sad. I miss you too. I love you, Blaine. Forever and ever_.

Forever and ever. That's what they had always said, since high school. They said it to each other every night before they slept, and when June was born, they said it to her with every kiss goodnight.

Blaine forces himself to calm down, tears still streaming down his face. He's able to reign his breathing back in so that he's not shaking too hard anymore. The lump in his throat lessens a bit, at least enough to let an appropriate amount of air in.

"Kurt," he croaks out, before breaking down again. He's angry, at himself, at the stone, at the world, for doing this to them. But he wants to be here; it's all he has left. He needs to do this.

"My beautiful, beautiful Kurt," he manages to get out, still leaning into the stone. His words are trapped between his mouth and Kurt's engraved name. "It's been a whole year since you left me. It still feels like yesterday. I'm sure you've seen from up there, but I…I haven't been holding it together too well. Rachel had to come stay with us some nights because I guess I was scaring June. Screaming and crying in our bed, passing out and losing it. I don't remember those nights, but Rachel says they were awful. I can only imagine the damage done to our daughter's psyche."

He pictures Kurt's laugh, and thinks about how he would roll his eyes with a smile at Blaine's lame attempt to lighten the mood. Kurt would tell him that any damage done to June isn't his fault. He guesses that somewhere, deep down, he knows that, but it's easier to blame himself sometimes.

"I dreamt about you. Every night. I still do, mostly. They're usually memories. Memories of 11 beautiful years together. You're still my best friend, Kurt, even if I don't actually have you anymore."

Blaine smiles as he recalls their firs kiss in the commons at Dalton, their first real fight outside of Scandals, their first time in his room, their second time in Kurt's room, their who knows what number time after Kurt's senior prom. He thinks of their wedding, their first dance as a legally married couple. He thinks of June being born a year later, of all their firsts with her. He thinks of her 6th birthday, and how they had to spend it Kurt's hospital room. He tries to block it out, but the memory seeps into his mind and takes over: how Kurt was feeling especially bad that day, and Blaine insisted on waiting until he felt better to celebrate, but Kurt insisting more firmly that it was for June, and he wanted to do it on her birthday, so despite his vitals being dangerously low, they had balloons and June sat in Kurt's lap and they ate cake. Their daughter never suspected a thing, but Blaine was there for Kurt's vomiting after the party, when Rachel had taken June home. They fought that night, and then they cried and Kurt fell asleep in Blaine's arms. Five weeks later, he was gone.

"Why did you leave me, baby? Why did you have to go?" Blaine is forcing himself to talk through his sobs, curling up against the tombstone, holding on for dear life. "I'm ruined without you, Kurt. There's almost nothing of me left. June is the last bit of life I have to hang on to, but I can't look at her without seeing your eyes, your shine, your love. Everything _hurts_ and I don't know how to make it stop."

He's shaking again and he can't feel any part of his body. Suddenly, there are warm arms wrapping around him, pulling him close.

"Shhh, god, Blaine," Rachel soothes, crying hysterically herself but managing to hold it together for Blaine. "Come here."

Blaine shifts up a bit and turns in Rachel's arms, allowing the small woman to wrap him into a proper hug. He buries his face into her neck, barely breathing, all tears and snot and despair.

"Ju—where's June?" he asks brokenly.

"Asleep in the car," Rachel replies. "Don't worry about it. Just let it out, Blaine. Please, god, let it all out. I'll hold you. Forever."

"And ever," Blaine sobs out, crying harder and harder into her, gripping her tighter, not even registering that it might be painful, that it _is_ painful for him. He anchors himself to her, never wanting to let go.

After what feels like an eternity, but is actually more like 25 minutes, Blaine is finally breathing normally again, although tears are still steadily falling down his face. He sniffles again and again, untangling himself from Rachel and reaching over to retrieve the forgotten bouquet.

"Forever," he whispers, laying the flowers across Kurt's grave. "Forever and ever."

* * *

I cried so hard while writing this

And then while reading it over to edit it

And then every time I went back to it omg this one is so sad I'm sorry


	12. Boy in a Rock and Roll Band

Boy in a Rock and Roll Band

Summary:

Why do I adore you?

We've only just met

I feel I would do anything for you

But baby, sometimes I forget

That I can't tell you how to live your life

But I know how to live mine

I take home pretty things that I like

And baby, you are so fine

Yeah, I could give you everything you need

With just one touch of my hand...

Rating: PG

Warnings: none

Song: /watch?v=XPA7TPStf3c&feature=relmfu

* * *

Kurt isn't sure what he's doing here. He never goes out alone, and certainly not to random underground boy band concerts in slightly sketchy clubs 50 miles from his home. But he had made a deal with himself, and he isn't about to give in. He won't leave until someone (preferably a good-looking someone) hits on him.

He just hasn't been feeling very desirable lately. Not that he ever feels desirable, but he's always at least felt attractive, even if there's no one in Lima to appreciate it. But with everyone else coupling off, Kurt just wants to find _someone_.

So here he is, alone, in Club whatever its name is, trying to keep calm and hoping some cute boy will notice him.

He's been standing by the far wall, across from the bar, for about half an hour. He watches people dance: boys with boys, boys with girls, girls with girls. He loves it. Why can't all of Ohio be like this?

He's so caught up in watching the dance floor that he doesn't notice when someone sidles up beside him. He startles when he turns and finds a mop of curly hair. Under further inspection he finds a face attached to it. A face with hazel eyes that are looking at him. A face with a mega-watt smile that seems to take up half the space. Oh. A boy is looking and smiling. At _him_.

"Hello," he says, internally congratulating himself for not freaking out. The boy laughs. It sounds like honey.

"Hey," he says. Kurt wishes he could hear him say 'hey' for the rest of his life. "Do you come here often?"

"Oh, yeah. I've been coming here for ages, can't you tell?" Oh, god, he's flirting. Kurt Hummel is actually flirting. With a _boy_.

The boy laughs honey again, and Kurt finds himself grinning.

"I thought I hadn't seen you here before. I would've noticed." He's still beaming at Kurt, who can feel himself blushing. He nervously licks his lips and sees Mr. Honey-Laugh's eyes flicker down to his mouth for a second, and then back up to his eyes. "I'm Blaine."

"Kurt," he replies, taking Honey Laugh Blaine's offered hand. It feels rough under his own perfectly moisturized skin. Kurt wonders what those hands would feel like in his hair.

"So are you here to see the band?" Blaine asks, pulling his hand away. Kurt resists the urge to grab it back.

"Eh," Kurt says. "I'm not really that into boy bands. I'm more of a Broadway man myself." He watches as the wattage dims slightly in Blaine's smile, and wonders if he just completely blew his chance.

"Broadway, huh? Me too," Blaine says. Oh, thank goodness, Kurt thinks. "But this band's pretty good. If you want, after the show I can introduce you to them."

"We'll see," Kurt says, still incredulous that he has a ridiculously attractive guy flirting with him. "It depends on if they're any good."

"Oh, don't worry," Blaine says with a smirk. "I'm sure you'll enjoy them."

Kurt's about to answer with some witty retort when the DJ cuts out and someone takes the stage.

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen!" he says in a haughty, fake British accent. The drunken crowd eats it up, cackling and cheering. "Are you ready for our delightful, lovely entertainment?" The crowd goes wild. "Please welcome, The Manic Warblers!"

"I'll see you later," Kurt feels more than hears Blaine whisper in his ear. Kurt turns to ask him where he's going, only to find him already walking away, towards the stage. Kurt furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Why is Blaine going to the stage? The gears turn and finally click as Blaine gets up there and settles in front of the microphone, slinging a guitar over his shoulders. Kurt feels his jaw drop.

"Hey, everyone. We are The Manic Warblers, and thanks for coming tonight to see us. We hope you enjoy the show!" He's greeted with drunken shouts and cries as the drummer begins to countdown and the band dives into some song Kurt has never heard.

Kurt can feel himself gaping, but he can't help it. He meant it when he said he'd never really been into the boy band thing, but they were _good_. He watches Blaine strut around the stage, singing and playing his guitar, dazzling the audience with his presence and his voice.

Kurt is amazed that this talented, beautiful boy had been talking to him, _flirting_ with him, and from the looks of it, is trying to impress him. As the band launches into another song, Blaine locks eyes with Kurt and gives him a huge smile.

"This next song goes out to a very special someone that I met tonight," Blaine says, his gaze never leaving Kurt's face. "As you all know, this is the only place I can really be out, freely, so I'd like to share with all of you my excitement at meeting that beautiful boy over there, Kurt."

Kurt blushes and looks around, seeing everyone turn and smile at him, cheering and clapping. Something swoops low in his stomach at the warmth of their acceptance. Blaine starts singing, and Kurt scoffs playfully at the song choice, the blush deepening and spreading down his neck. It's "I Just Haven't Met You Yet" by Michael Bublé, and Kurt couldn't have picked a better song for the occasion himself. He sways to the beat, laughing when Blaine winks at him while performing. How did he get so lucky to meet this amazing boy the first time he goes out by himself? Kurt can't believe it, and yet, it's happening.

When the set is over, the band disappears backstage, and Kurt makes his way over to the bar for another club soda. Before his drink has even arrived, Blaine is at his side, that blinding smile pasted on his face.

"Hey there, beautiful," Blaine says, his grin easing up a bit at the shy way Kurt ducks his head at the compliment. "Did you enjoy the show?"

"Mhm," Kurt hums, smirking at the way Blaine's eyebrows furrow. "You guys are really good. But, really? The Manic Warblers? It's ridiculous." Blaine's honey laugh is back, and Kurt's ears drink up the sound, locking it away to remember it forever.

"Yeah, okay, I'll admit that it's a little silly, but as you can tell, we're all a bit…energetic." Kurt smirks at the word choice. "And I had a pet warbler as a child…that bird was my best friend. Hey! Don't laugh! I'm serious! Besides…you know you loved getting to stare at me for that whole time." Blaine winks at Kurt, who's blushing again, his lips opening and closing slightly with the inability to produce a coherent answer. Blaine sighs, his expression becoming slightly more serious.

"Sorry that I'm being so…straightforward. It's just, this is the only place I really feel comfortable about who I am. The only place anyone accepts me. Sometimes I get a little carried away…a little overconfident, is a good way to put it." And the smile is back, so bright it rivals the sun.

"Trust me, it's fine," Kurt breathes out, giggling when Blaine puts his arm around him. "I must admit that your confidence is bordering on overbearing, but it's endearing, to say the least." He scrunches his nose and sticks his tongue out at Blaine, who has a look of false shock on his face.

"Why, Kurt, how dare you mock me like that? I think you just might have to dance with me to make it up. What do you say? A little dance to soothe my wounded ego?"

Kurt blushes and leans into Blaine's side a little. He can't help the tingling joy that resonates low in his stomach at the fact that this boy, this beautiful, flirty, sweet boy wants to talk to him, wants to dance with him, wants to _know_ him.

He ducks out from underneath Blaine's arm and laces his hands in Blaine's, pulling him away from the bar and onto the dance floor. Blaine's hands disentangle from Kurt's and settle on his hips as they begin twirling around the little space they have on the dance floor.

"Why, Mr. Warbler, I thought you'd never ask."


	13. Go to Heaven

Go to Heaven

Summary:

No, I said

I do not think that

It's all in your head

But we may not find out

Until we're dead...

Rating: T

Warnings: **_***SELF HARM***_**

Song: /watch?v=YTstdNT9ifQ

* * *

There are two notes, written on Kurt's good stationary, resting on the sink counter. They've prepared. They've known exactly what to say for a long time now.

Two beautiful boys are settled into the water, facing each other and spread out so that their naked legs tangle together. They smile at each other, comfortable.

"I'm scared a little," Blaine admits quietly, though the sound still cuts through the silence.

"I know." Kurt reaches across the tub to lift Blaine's chin up with his forefinger. "But we'll be safe now, remember? No more hiding. No more fear. Just you and me, safe and gone. Just like we talked about."

Blaine's lips curl into a slight smile. He takes Kurt's hand in both of his, tilting his head down to kiss the wet knuckles.

"Are you ready?"

"Can I have a kiss?" Blaine asks, a few tears slipping out of his eyes, though his smile remains.

Kurt grins back, a few tears spilling over onto his cheeks as well, and leans across to press his hands on either side of Blaine's face and bring their lips together.

The kiss is tender, portraying everything they feel and think and want and need. This is it. This is all of it. All of the pain and suffering and terror, the falsities and distance and cruelty; this will finally wash it all away.

"I'm ready," Blaine says when their lips part. Kurt's smile widens and he presses one last peck on Blaine's mouth before settling back against his side of the tub.

They each pick one up, and settle it against their skin. It's heavy. The weight of it settles over them, and their eyes find each other, holding steady.

"One," Kurt says. Blaine searches his eyes until he finds it. _There. There it is. Courage._

"Two," he says back, empowered by Kurt's soft smile.

"Three," they breathe out together.

Silver slices, clean and quick, into soft, pale skin. In rapid succession, they each slash again, on the other arm. Deep red flows and spreads in the water, mingling together in a frenzied dance. It's so easy to destroy; they weren't expecting it to be this simple. It's reassuring.

As they lie there, heads rested back, someone whispers into the darkness: "I love you." The other responds immediately, barely audible: "I love you, too."

Then all is still. The last bit of light fades from their bodies. All that remains is two beautiful boys, the red that consumes them, and two notes sitting neatly on the sink counter.


End file.
